Dear Demetria:
"Been with shawty bout a year and some change and she don't give head. We living together now and things need to change. She don't cook, clean, don't do no woman stuff. If she not taking care of the house she need to at least take care of my needs right? She not trying to compromise."
You knew she didn't provide oral blessings when you moved in together, and you did that anyway. That's on you, homie. Everybody in the house needs to cook and clean and contribute to the upkeep of the home, that means you too. Are you doing your portion?
Also, what's the full story? I feel like I've been reading half stories all night. The oral thing is what it is. You knew she didn't do it, and because she's not cooking or cleaning doesn't mean you're entitled to the kind of sex that you desire. They're separate things and you gotta get off that. Is it all possible that her not cooking/cleaning is a passive aggressive response to you actually saying some wild ish to her like she needs to do oral or else? How did she keep her own home before ya'll moved in together?"
UPDATE 2:
Dear Demetria:
That's whats trip. Her house use to be spotless. She used to cook all the time. Now all she does is use that mouth to fuss. She treats me like I am her b-tch instead of the other way around. Relationships is give and take. I do my part I make sure to take out the trash ,wash and maintain the cars,and fix things round the house. She needs to cook, clean and cater to her man. I didn't say act like it's the 50s, but come on, make your man feel like a man sometimes. I am not working right now, so I make sure my step son gets to school and peewee practice everyday plus help him with homework.
She needs to at least give me a back rub after dealing with him all day. Little man is a handful. See, the problem is her boogee ass friends done got in her ear, worrying about what we have going on. Half them ain't so much got a man. She is gonna mess around and lose hers. I don't cheat and trust me if I wanted to it wouldn't be a problem getting some. I am not cocky but 100, I have been plenty women MCM. I am just saying.
I don't really do the whole bae lets go out thing. Shouldn't have to when I sit thru her friends couples game night 2x a month. I am a good guy, never lifted a finger to her. I give her good D, eat the box and stay faithful. I am a dying breed.
She walks around the house full of attitude. I try to hold a conversation with her she rolling eyes, sucking teeth, acting like she mad with the world. but let one of them broads call. She all smiles got lots of convo for them. She comes home with happy meals for little man, nothing for me. I'm looking like so I gets no meal? I try to touch her at night she way on the other side of the bed bout to damn near fall off. Everytime I try to get some, she just lies there. I would rather her just put it in her mouth 2 or 3 minutes and I would be done for. I don't need a all nighter but at least give me something.
I hold up my end of the relationship. If I walk then she is going to be sick without me. Give me something to tell shawty cause she messing up bad. You know how many women wants a dude that's handsome, good d and helps out with the kid?
Oh, sir.
A couple things: she's wrong for bringing the baby food and not ordering any for you. You got that. But the rest of this?
You moved into a house with a woman and kid. You're supposed to help. And you're not working. You're supposed to watch the kid while she's at work. You don't get points for that.
You also seem to be severely downplaying the effect of you not having a job. It's no sane woman's dream to be financially supporting a grown man. She's walking around everyday thinking "this is not what I signed up for" and looking for a way out. If you left, she wouldn't be "sick". She'd have more income to take care of her son and herself. And she wouldn't be hiding on the other side of the bed to avoid you. You're thinking about how unhappy you are and you are ENTIRELY missing how unhappy your woman is.
Only men who pay all the bills stand a chance at getting away with your level of ego/entitlement. Ain't no woman with sense catering to a dude she's playing mommy to. Her friends don't have a man but they also aren't supporting a grown man either. Some would say her girls are winning."
UPDATE 3:
Dear Demetria:
Because I am not working I shouldn't get sex? Wow. I am not out of work for fun. Times are hard. I got a legit business plan in the works. All l I need is a little start up money. I asked her to invest in my plan but she curved me. Can't want me to work and not want to help me out. sm
sir. You are digging the hole deeper.
You are not a husband. You are not entitled to HER money. You need to find a job to help with the bills and to earn your own start up cash for your business. How do you ask someone to invest in a company you won't even work to invest in? You are not showing signs of being a worthy investment.
It's not just you're not working. You want her to fulfill a traditional female role but yet you aren't fulfilling a traditional male role. You don't work and expect her to cook and clean when she gets home. You want praise for doing the things you are supposed to do. You won't work to earn your own start up money, but expect her to cut a check. She needs her savings for a rainy day to cover herself and her child since she obviously cannot financially depend on you.
This woman is disgusted with you-- your laziness, your ungrateful ways and especially your entitlement. Clean the house, get some food on the stove, and show some gratitude that she hasn't kicked you out... Yet. (Because everything you say about her implies that's about to happen.) Maybe then you'll get some decent sex. Maybe.
You still ain't getting oral. You knew she didn't do that when you moved in. I'm unclear why you expected that to change.
UPDATE 4:
Dear Demetria:
It should change because its her fault that I am out of work in the first damn place. She came up to my job acting a donkey, going off a bout some bull that went down on Instagram, knowing that I was one my 3rd strike there. Because I cant afford to pay my child support I havent seen my own children in 3 months, so if I feel entitled, whatever that means, it's her doing. She owe me. If she would use her mouth other than [for] slick rapping, may be I would try harder to find something. SMH at you woman. But like usual women stick together to beat up on men. You be easy goodnight . I done .
Lookie here. I'm pretty fair. Men tell me I'm anti-man and women tell me I'm anti-woman. My only loyalty is to what makes sense and what doesn't. I tell women they're dead wrong all the time. I say it to men too. Let's drop that argument that I'm beating up on you and siding with the woman just because she's a woman. I told you ol' girl was wrong for buying food for the baby, but not you. And I said that even without understanding why she has to buy food for the kid when you're sitting in the house all day. You should have some food on the stove.
You can't blame this all on her. No, she shouldn't have come to your job. That is out of order. Period. But why did you have the first two strikes? Were those on her too?
And what happened on IG that had her so mad she came to your job?
And why can't you see your children because you don't pay child support? That's not how child support works. The court doesn't ban you from seeing the kids because you owe back money. The mother(s) of the children won't let you see them? If that's the case, that's a problem. But I also need you to recognize that you are the common denominator here in these women who are rejecting you in their lives. You are not blameless. You are a part of the problem.
And how do you owe back child support, but you ask the woman you live with for money to invest in your business, that you're not working to invest in, but your first priorities aren't paying the debt you already have and seeing the children you created?
You've spent a portion of the day asking questions here on Ask.FM, which admittedly doesn't take a great amount of time. But I NEED to know how many job applications you've filled out or how many resumes you've sent today.
No, sir. This woman doesn't owe you. You are living in the house and she is paying the bills. You do not cook or clean. You have "traditional" expectations of her as a woman, and again, you are not fulfilling your "traditional" role as a man. At a very basic level, you are not providing for your biological family. And you want to be respected as a man? How? When you are not acting like one?
And you have the GALL to say that if she gave you oral sex, THEN you would look for a job! You don't deserve to have your penis sucked, sir. How do you feel entitled to have someone's daughter pleasure you when you neither protect nor provide, not for her and not for your own biological babies? You need priorities and prayer, in either order. You also need to call one of your boys and go stay with one of them and stop mooching off this woman. You NEED a plan. You're not going to be in that lady's house much longer. Word is bond: she is about to kick you out.
Dear Demetria:
"You're fair? Oh wow! Telling me I need to be kicked out is treating me fairly? ok bet. Do I like living with my shawty? I do but I have a mom that will be there for her baby in a heartbeat. So not worried there. the whole IG thang was blown up . I flirt women flirt with me sometime things go to fa
I keep it on the gram. Dont' call these chicks , don't meet in person just lil back and forth . big deal. answer this would your rather a man slide in a dm or a chick? flirt hasn't killed no one yet. when I found out cutie was shawty people I fell back."
You deserve to be kicked out. You should go live with your mom and ask her to pay your child support so you can see your kids and to invest in your business.
You flirting with other women on IG while living with a woman and seriously think this is acceptable? Ok.
I can't. I won't. I shall not. Not today.
UPDATE 5:
Dear Demetria:
I keep it on the gram . Don't call these chicks. Don't meet in person. Just a lil back and forth. Big deal. Answer this: would your rather a man slide in a DM or a chick? Flirt hasn't killed no one yet. When I found out cutie was shawty people I fell back.
As me and children mother? No cash no time with my lil ones. Thats how she rocking. Listen though, I thank you for your opinion. I say we should agree to disagree. I feel how I feel. You feel how you feel. It is what it is . smh.
Fin (I think)
#askdemetria #nooral #dontwasteyourpretty #youarenotanATM