So. In case you’re just tuning in, last week a “man” wrote in to complain that his girlfriend, whom he lives with, didn’t perform oral sex. He didn’t work, or cook or clean, but he did some light maintenance around the house and he watched her son while she was at work, so he believed his lady should bless the mic, which notably, she didn’t do before he moved in.
There’s much more to the story than that. You should read the whole thing. No, seriously. Stop here, and go read it, if you haven't already.
Many people read the story, and there was a consistent “wish” that the man’s girlfriend would catch wind of what he was saying about her.
Welp. That happened. She wrote in late Friday night to say she was mostly mortified, and even though her dude was anonymous, reading what he thought of her was upsetting.
She explained the backstory of how she ended up with #NoOral (he was always conceited, she was in a bad place after a car accident, and gained weight because she couldn’t work out). And that she was done with him after reading my post. I wished the best for her and her child. (There wasn’t anything else to add. She didn’t ask for advice, and I don't go around giving it unsolicited. I'm not that chick.) I didn’t hear from her again—until this morning.
She came back. She had a lot to say. #NoOral left a LOT out of the story. A LOT.
Read for yourself below.
NOTE: I’ve edited for typos, not for clarity or anything else.
Dear Demetria:
Sorry to have ended our conversation so abruptly the other night. It’s hard to type and cry at the same time. How do I start this? After a car accident that almost claimed my life, I struggled. I couldn't take care of my son or myself. I was depressed and felt lost. In comes this dude, he's charming,
Pt2. fine, dresses nice, single, no kids. He is a dream. I had no idea his mom took care of him. None! I didn't know he had so many children. He told me so many times how he wants children one day. Imagine my surprise when baby mamas are popping up. Everyone warned me, “girl he ain't shit! Leave him!”
Pt3 but they didn't see what I have seen. He was different until his ass wasn't. I saw how he disrespected his own mom and I turned a blind eye. I loved him, he didn't care about the extra weight he didn't care about my slight limp. He loves me. I woke up when he was in my 16 year [old] cousin’s inbox.
Pt4 The same little girl I introduced to him as my “boo baby” and my favorite little cousin. I put him out the same night, but he cried. Girl, Demetria, a n---a ain't never cried over me. Last month I went to the doctor. Thought it was a bad yeast infection. Doctor says, "no, its gonorrhea." It’s 2016.
Pt5 Who still giving b---hes gonorrhea? I shut down. I shut him out. I was trying to bide my time until my lease is up because I knew he wouldn't go quietly. I didn't want to call my dad from six hours away. If I did that, my dad wasn't coming to discuss basketball stats. Let’s just say as of 12:00
Pt6 last night he is no longer my problem. I want better for my son and me. Every since I've started class, all I have heard from him is, "we can't eat no books", "Take care of home". I don't want a man who is jealous of my success, but I don't want to be alone. My baby said to me last
Pt7 night. "Mommy, [if] he make you cry, then he's not a good friend for you. Friends don't make you cry". He is right.