BMJ Recap 0307: Blowing Money Fast

MJ’s cutie patootie stylist has come thru! He shows up on her birthday with the "summer bag", a  red Birkin, that MJ’s been feigning for. MJ is gaga for it, but not for the price.

“How much is it?” she asks, knowing the answer (If I knew, she knew). She very reluctantly hands over her American Express to her shame-y stylist for a 30k swipe. “It’s an investment,” she rationalizes. Um… luxury goods depreciate the second you buy them, like cars.

How much is MJ making? I know she got a raise when she moved to Primetime, but is she balling like that? Or fronting that hard? A couple weeks ago, she was crying broke to CeCe. Was she actually cash strapped, or she just didn’t have the money for CeCe? (There’s a difference.)

Across town, Niecy is at work at the mall, flat-ironing a gorgeous head of hair. She’s actually really good at it, but as the potential client in the chair who declines to purchase an $130 flat iron because “I’d have to sell one of my kids” notes to Niecy, “you need to be doing hair, not selling one of these.” Message! About not purchasing things you can't afford and Niecy needing to do hair.

Niecy’s friends who work at the mall swing by to clown her about brown bagging her lunch and wearing the same clothes all the time. Niecy explains she has a growing son and she has to pay her grands to watch him. She actually sounds responsible. I’m proud of her. Her friends tell her “you need to work the mall”, i.e. offer your own store discount in exchange for using someone else’s.

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Now MJ’s purchasing a new car, which admittedly, she needs. She’s been without one since the accident, and the girl does live in Atlanta. She rides out to “All I Do Is Win”, posturing like she’s in a hip-hop video, but the rapper, not the eye candy. It's her birthday and she got a new whip. This is beyond appropriate.

Her first stop? Mark’s house. He’s serious about going to Nigeria to report and has put his house on the market. That’s serious, serious.

He’s cleaning his home for a potential buyer. MJ limps thru the family room in pain. Her Loubs—also new—hurt her feet. She’s just been on a spree, huh? Mark tells her to blow dry her shoes to loosen them. Brilliant.

Anyway, MJ has shown up, hoping Mark acknowledges her birthday, which he doesn’t. He’s got a lot of his mind, and MJ, at 39, is playing games and won’t just tell him it’s her birthday to let him off the hook. Mid-convo with Mark, she gets a call from Patrick, who’s calling to say that their mom “had a flare up”, ie, she fell and bumped her head, and stayed overnight in the hospital. Oh, dear.

MJ shows up at the house to find Patrick making roasted carrot turmeric soup… and baking his famous triple fudge chocolate cake, “for Deja”, he says. It’s MJ’s favorite cake. He says he’ll save her a slice.

Then PJ walks in. He’s intown from LA to check on his mother. MJ thinks something is up, like her family is throwing her a surprise party later. She says she’s leaving and will be back that night. Patrick says he needs her around to work the night shift. MJ says she’ll be there to   “help with Mom”.

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At work, Patrick is at his desk, finishing orders when his bos sops by to ask if he wants to take a donought break. My donuts, his boss means drugs. Really Patrick? You back on drugs. It’s not crack, again, thank God, but whatever they’re doing.. Naw, just naw. I want to Tyra-yell at him, “we were rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!” Come on, Patrick, what kind of gateway-drugging you doing? You’re a recovering drug addict. Or… a drug addict. Are you in recovery if you are presently using drugs, even if it’s a different one from the one you were last addicted to?

The guys—not so much Patrick—pressure their co-worker Katie in to trying it The boss points out that Patrick used to be a “screw up” and now he’s a top-seller. Katie decides to try the plll since it worked for Patrick.

At SNC, Kara is showing Mark a package on Boko Haram and the kidnapped Nigerian girls.I love Mara for giving this issue attention on his show. Thank you, Mara.

It’s for Mark’s last show. He and Kara do a friendly, but professional good-bye, with lots of tension. He obviously doesn’t want to leave, but he feels he has to. I’ve quit a job I loved before. Calling it a bittersweet goodbye is cliché, but accurate. I get it, Mark. And I don’t envy you.

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At her anchor desk. MJ is checking social media for validation. Oh, I’m sorry. For birthday wishes. Her fans have remembered the birthday that Mark and her family did not. Kara did. She rolls a (leaning) cake and presents into the TV studio. This is what friends are for. They are the family we get to choose.

A producer pulls MJ aside with a story idea… about PJ’s employer. She’s being accused of bid-rigging in Inglewood. SNC is considering doing an investigative report on it. MJ plays it offtlike it’s not a big deal, but she’s freaked out.

Kara takes snacks to her kids in the conference room at SNC while they do their homework. She’s having a good Mom day. She’s proud of herself. I am too. She’s trying really hard

Niecy’s shopping at Wet Seal with her friends on the employee discount. A conversation about a Drake concert turns into the one about bay daddies who don’t take care of their kids. One of the girls listens to the mothers complain and says that’s why she’s not having sex because “I like my freedom.” I ain’t mad at her.

MJ Is on air talking about “one of America’s truest treasures”: a cat. Later, she’s sitting in her new car with Kara and the kids clowning about the stuff she has to talk about now, like cats. But Kara wants to know how much the new Tesla was. MJ replies, “it pays for itself” and “its good for the environment”, ie, a lot.  (Tesla's start at 101k, according to TrueCar.com) MJ tells Kara should buy one. She says she can’t because “I have them”, pointing to the kids in the backseat.

The kids are watching YouTube videos of people falling down stairs coated in butter. Kara doesn’t find it funny, probably because she’s an adult. MJ thinks it’s hysterical and tells them about a video of people stepping out of the shower onto a floor coated in baby oil.

When the kids are out of the car, MJ asks Kara how she’s doing. Kara says if she doesn’t have sex soon, she’s “going to break the shower head off.” Oh. MJ was asking about her live-in situation with her ex. Then MJ wants to know how Karafeels abot Mark leaving. Kara ain’t happy. They had a rhythm, and now she’s got to preplace him with a string of newbies auditioning for his spot. “It was easy money, now I actually gotta work for it.”

MJ offers up her home if Kara ever needs to crash. But first, she  has to run off because he family has planed a surprise party for her. Kara ain’t so sure. She points out that she didn’t get an invite. “Maybe its just a family thing?” MJ wonders. She is dead set on this. Does she not realize she’s 39, and not, say, 10, or 40? No one is getting a surprise birthday for 39. But MJ insists there’s a party. She shows up at her family home waiting for someone to yell “Surprise!” and no one does.

PJ wanders into the family room and wonders what MJ is doing there. Mom is upstairs sleeping, Patrick is home and dad went to pick Niecy up at the mall. “You guys really forgot my birthday?” PJ apologizes and says he was caught up with work?

“Oh like, bid-rigging?” MJ asks.

PJ says, “so?” He’s tried of “white business telling us to play one game while they play another.” PJ says he has a foolproof plan and $25 million coming to him. He’s going to beat the system and put the family “back on the road to greatness. “I’m just following the American Way,” PJ says.

I feel you, PJ, I do. But not like this.

MJ tells him to “get out while you can. You’re the fall guy. You show up just in time to do her time... What do you think happens to mom when she finds out you’re in jail. It will kill her. Is the money worth that to you?”

Questions that need answers. People often get mad at MJ for keeping it 100, all the time. And yeah, sometimes it’s just annoying because she doesn’t know when to stop. But sometimes, like now, that 100 is so necessary.

“This doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a criminal,” MJ tells PJ before going to check on her mother.

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MJ is bathing her mother, but zoning out while. Mom says she doesn’t know why the family fusses over her so. “Y’all treat me like I’m dying,” she says. Later when MJ is putting her mother to bed, her mother says her leg hurts. MJ massages her calf  and Mom tells her show she spent so much time not dancing, even though she liked it, because she thought she looked silly. She didn’t want people to laugh at her. She tells MJ, “whenever you get a chance to dance, dance.”

The wisdom older people depart when they’re ill is interesting. My friend’s father fell ill sometime last year. His advice to her: “I spent a lot of time being afraid to go after my dreams because I didn’t think I was smart enough. I was. You are too.” Or something like that. This one time my dad was sick and he told me not to drink. It took almost 20 years for me to understand why he said it, and for me to give it up.

When Mom is good and tucked in, she wishes MJ a happy birthday. She didn’t forget.

Patrick is at work and doing more drugs. He makes me want to use a word I said I was going to stop using. I’m so mad at him.

MJ is still at the house when Niecy and Dad show up. Niecy has bags and bags and bags, including a gift for MJ.’s birthday, MJ ain’t happy about that. She’s annoyed that Niecy just got her first check and spent half of it on stuff she didn’t really need. Um, who is going to be annoyed with MJ for the same thing? Cause we've just watched her spend about 130k in a day.

Dad comes back in to break up the mounting argument. Niecy storms off… and with MJ’s gift. LOL.

“I don’t always like saying the hard stuff,” MJ tells her dad.

Dad: then don’t sometimes.

Welp.

Dad tells MJ to stop punishing Niecy for having kids out of wedlock. “They’re here,” he says. “Maybe she didn’t do it the right way, but she’s progressing.”

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MJ admits to her father that she had an abortion 6 years ago. “I did the reasonable, responsible thing. Because I couldn’t tlook at my dad and have him see a burden, a pathetic burden.” She says that if she had the courage, she could have been like Niecy and Patrick “and let other people carry my load.”

She adds, “Im pissed my entire family forgot my birthday and I could have been at home blowing out candles with my six year old.”

Ouch. I love Mara for this. Because we've just watched this beautiful woman buy all these things to give the appearance of having it all, she she flaunts them so well. But the things she really wants-- a family that makes her the center of attention for a day, and the child she aborted-- elude her. She's 130k in the hole, and the hole in her that makes her lash out at everyone around her (misery loves company) she was trying to fill with stuff is just as deep as it was before she splurged. Message!

Dad hugs her. Not what I was expecting. But the best move ever. He apologizes, for forgetting her birthday and for more.

MJ gets home to find Mark in her kitchen with a mini-cake and candles. In a super cute scene, they sit on her dining table and blow out her candles.

Mark says he already has an offer on the house(!) and found a production crew in London that he will meet soon before heading off to Nigeria.

“You’re not scared?” MJ asks.

“I’m scared as hell,” Mark says. “But it really scares me scared not to do what I want to do. But it feels so great to also live in the moment.”

I’m in tears. Tears. (And the Lionel Richie song ain’t helping.)

I get it Mark. I. Get. It.

My biggest fears are failure and being a failure. I have really high expectations and I consistently don’t meet them. Every day I think I’m a failure. Every. Single. Day. But I get up the next day and try again because giving up and resigning to failure is even scarier than trying and failing. So maybe giving up is my biggest fear. I dunno. I’m going to have to process that further. Ugh! Why does this show bring up so much sh—for me?

MJ switches subjects. She says Mark hurt her feelings when he said she wasn’t a real journalist. But part of the reason she will miss him is, “you never did tell me what I wanted to hear.”

Mark apologizes. “I love you, Mary Jane, and I don’t know everything.”

The following morning, he does he last show, then says his goodbyes at the office party.

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This. This here. Is how you send a character off a show. Mark wasn’t even a major player on the show, like say Kara, but I am complete tears, first over his honesty to MJ, and now again, at his speech here. This man is a great actor. And so are the actors around him, the mix of awe and resentment on their faces perfectly captures when you quit a job.

The pair close out the night in a 80s/90s dance off, that requires stretching first. She is 39, after all. Love it!

That was a good-goodbye.

What did you think of the last night's episode?

BMJ Recap 0306: Is MJ A Sell-Out?

“You know what they say about the skinny brothers. They be packing”

Ma’am!

Ahhhh! There goes my boo thing Tanika Ray. Love her. Hey boo, hey! The curls are popping! And Kelly is popping up everywhere, ain’t she?. Hey, Kelly, girl!

Sorry. I felt like I was at the table and got distracted!

MJ and her TV anchor friends are out talking about sex… with Barack Obama?! Bwahahahahaha. After Tanika talks about wearing her A1s to handle the turbulence, MJ tells her, “I hope Michelle beats your ass.” Welp. *kisses, T*

The conversation turns to pre-nups, and whether successful women should be asking for them. “Are we talking about legislating love?”, MJ asks, sounding very Carrie Bradshaw.

The girls chat on and MJ gets caught looking around the club. For who? The finger popping white guy? That wasn’t a one night thing?

The ladies are wrapping up  outside and talking about edges when MJ spots her white boo pulling up. She butchers an excuse to go back inside without her friend knowing exactly what’s up, because she definitely knows something is going on unless she’s a complete idiot

MJ heads to the bar to speak to her white boo. Okay, the bob is growing on me. Anyway, they’re making out in the club, and by make out, I mean everything but penile penetration.

English-accent White boo wants to go home with MJ. She shuts him down: “I like what we do here,” she says. We find out that he doesn’t know her name. Oh, dear. This ain’t gonna end well.

The next morning, MJ’s walking thru the kitchen in her pink robe with the I-got-mines strut. She spots a napkin from the private club, remembers last night and gives a naughty little laugh. I’ve laughed that way. It was filthy. And yes, I was at home. We haven’t seen MJ smile like that in awhile.

Later that morning, a pair of stylists show up at MJ’s house. One observes, “She’s cute. Even in person.” There IS a difference. I look like I weigh a million pounds on TV when I actually weigh a thousand. Even after I've "come down", as gym people like to say. But even before I lost weight, people would see me in person and often comment, “you lost weight!”, or “you’re so small!” even on my heaviest days. Sigh.

Sorry. Pet peeve. And tangent. As the stylist is laying out MJ’s designer options, she gets a message from Cutty Buddy asking for some Mary Jane. “She’s my main thang,” the text reads. The stylist thought it was corny. I loved it!

The stylist gives MJ some booty call rules. Late enough where you don’t have to feed him, but not so late you’re yawning. “No one wants to waste their gas on a lazy lay. It’s rude," he says.

Give whoever wrote that PSA-worthy line a raise.

After commercial break, MJ is on the air talking about a dog and is not happy about it. Kara insists there is a demo for it. She invites MJ to go over story ideas; MJ declines. MJ is enjoying the perks of her new job, including a stylist and not fighting with Kara anymore. She says she is going to “go with the flow”.

Kara wants to know where MJ is going. She saw a story on Gawker about MJ and “the “anchorettes” hanging out and she wasn’t invited. MJ points out that when she asks Kara out, the answer is always “no”. Kara agrees; she ain’t really feeling this new, all-Mommy, all-the time life. Later at her desk she has a meltdown. She feels trapped.

MJ is at home getting her back blown out by Cutty Buddy. His back? Lawd!

Oh LORD!!! He’s having convulsions! What is going on?!

Ok. He’s fine. For now. Wooooo-sahhhh! He had a seizure. This scene is one of the reasons I love this show. They do life. Like as soon as he was fine, most shows would have cut away. The cameras here stay after the others would be gone. They show her worry, and HIS embarrassment/fear/vulnerability. The awkwardness. That is life.

The next day at work, MJ says she stayed up all night with him, but tells Kara, “he is not my boo, just someone I do.” She says she has too much going on to be focused on a relationship. As they’re talking, MJ’s phone goes off. Pictures of Mark making out with a man have hit the newspapers. Aw, hell!

Mark says he ain’t ok, but blames himself for being “in the parking lot, kissing like a school girl”. Um… it was more than that. MJ tells him he is very well endowed. Oh! MJ tells Mark to embrace being outed. “Gay is the new black, honey.” Mark is offended that MJ thinks “gayness is trendy.”

Mark is legitimately worried about his career, and a staffer popping in to say that Greg, the Big Boss, is asking for him, doesn’t help.

In the meeting, Greg says that SNC wants to support Mark. A marketing guy wants Mark to do a 3-day promotional campaign, and come out on air to boost the numbers for the upcoming week. He suggests that going forward Mark will have a segment that “bridges LGBT issues and foreign policy.” Huh? How does that work together?

More or less, Greg offers Mark a higher profile job and a raise. Mark says he’s not interested in being the face of gay politics. About that…. Greg says that while Mark has been planning reporting trips to Syria and Nigeria “for weeks”, he can’t go anymore. “The last thing we need to do is send a recently outted journalist into hostile territory,” Greg says. Mark argues, offering to spend his own money on security to go. He got it twisted. “This isn’t up for debate,” Greg says.

Mark quits.

Elsewhere in the newsroom MJ is hosting a segment on immigration reform. Ha! Look, it’s Goldie! We Twitter chat. I read her work. She looks amazing. You know she’s a grandmother? She and Marjorie Harvey are medical miracles. I’ve never heard Goldie speak before.

MJ’s sleeves are ridiculous. I mean, it’s an adorable outfit. It is. But those are not news sleeves. She looks like she’s got wings.

Anyway, MJ is noticeably quiet on the segment, which I noted even before Goldie said something. Goldie tells her she was expecting to tangle more. “I get you, but we still need you, Sis, and we need you highlighting our issues.” MJ knows it’s true.

MJ’s white dress sans sleeves is awesome.  Or is that a whole new dress? And the bob has grown on me.

Greg pops by to talk to MJ about Greg quitting. He wants her to pass a message along: “SNC wants him, needs him. Seriously, we can’t afford to lose him.” MJ’s taken aback. Greg says he’s fighting for Mark as hard as he fought for her. MJ says she may have misjudged him and eventually says, “I’m sorry.”

Greg: "see, white guys aren’t so bad after all".

In one scene, I think totally different about Greg. That’s a testament to good writing, and good acting. And direction. Nicely done, Mara.

Kara’s wandering around the office eating microwave dinner when she spots Marisol at her desk. They haven’t found a new place for her yet, so she’s trying to stay in touch and stay visible. Kara throws her some shade, and Marisol finally stands up for herself and asks what’s good. Kara says she wasn’t feeling her sliding into SNC on the “quota program.” Marisol says Kara is busting her ass for 14 hours days and 65 percent of the pay. The look on Kara’s face tho?! She cuts back that it’s better than gaining entry acting “like a Chiquita banana”and wearing crotch-less panties.

Blouses!

MJ is at Mark’s trying to get him to take his job back. Mark doesn’t want to talk about gay topics because he thinks people will be looking at his ass instead of thinking about what he’s saying. MJ laughs. Mark doesn’t think it’s funny. “I’m baring my soul to you and you’re laughing,” Mark says.

MJ apologizes for making light, but, seriously, asks him to “talk to Greg.”

MJ’s knocked out in the dark, but somehow hears her phone ding. It’s Cutty Buddy asking via text if she’s still up. She lies and says she’s working. FFwd: she tells him to come over.

In the next scene, it’s bright lights and tonguing. Look Gabrielle Union got a good life right about now. She is being paid to tongue down Thomas Jones and then goes home to D. Wade? Ma’am? You are a winner. Side bar: everytime CBW watches MJ do a sex scene, he’s like, “does Wade know she’s doing this?” Like that man ain’t got a TV.

Anyway, they’re making out, and MJ calls a foul on the play. They have to talk about the elephant in the room, the seizures. Brandon, aka the man we will never call that because his name is Cutty Buddy, says that the seizures started two months ago and he’s freaked out because he’s trying to make another team. “All I have is football,” he says, shortly before he bounces.

The next day, MJ is shopping with a friend, talking about Cutty Buddy. She says she likes him, buts he can’t get involved in his issues. She keeps having that conversation. She says, “it’s like I know too much about him. The mystery is gone.” The convo moves to MJ and her white boy. Her friend says she’s been with a white man but doesn’t want to venture back to the “ baloney pony”. Bwahaha.

MJ admits that she hasn’t had sex with the white guy because she’s recently had sex with Cutty Buddy. She doesn’t want to be a “ho”. Her friend reminds her that she’s grown and can “do what you wanna do”. MJ asks if her friend were Queen for the day what her “International Ho Law” would be. This conversation is hilarious. Hee-lar-ious! MJ says she loves giving blow jobs. Her girl says that’s fine, “just don’t drink off my glass.”

The conversation moves to the “trickiness” of being single” and navigating sex. MJ advocated resetting the 'ho button' at 35 OMG! This is one of the greatest conversations in TV history. Watch it on repeat like that man singing about Patti’s pies.

FFW: Mark talked to Greg. The answer for Mark going overseas to cover ISIS and Boko Haram is still no. Mark says the cost of his dignity is too high for SNC. “I’m not a ratings ploy,” he says. Mark says he’s going to hire his own team and go over to Nigeria on his own dime.

MJ says its time to “live a little and stop fighting”. “I’m a B-list celebrity and I like it, I love it,” MJ says. “People don’t care about the truth. Audiences are half asleep and I am exhausted… why keep fighting a losing battle?"

Oh, God. I struggle with this every, single, day. I could write a whole post on that concept. Being true to self and fighting the good fight on GP is hard. HARD.

“I may be a sell out but I’m finally getting what I want,” MJ says. I'm not even mad at her. I get it. I also get Raven-Symone. Though I don't think I could go that far astray. Offer me a couple million in a contract and we'll put that to the test.

Mark says he’s not going to give up or sell out.

Later that night, MJ is back at the private club. Her White boo walks in and tells her he watched her show. She says he ruined the fantasy. But the look on her face says she doesn’t mean it.

What did you think of Episode 6 of Being Mary Jane?

BMJ Recap 0305: The Return of MJ

** Apologies for the delay on this one. I'm in Brazil. And my laptop wouldn't charge, then I was locked out of my site, which is having... issues. Bear with me. I'm re-launching soon. (I think a lot of you know that I'm ending ABelleinBrooklyn.com.)**

I've lost track of how time moves on this show. But it's well beyond MJ's physical scars healing and her boss, Greg, still isn't letting her back on the show. He says Marisol is better at handing immigration issues. MJ argues that she can cover it better, and "in espanol".

MJ hits back: "it's my show and it's my audience."

Greg: "it's SNC's show; and SNC's audience".

She says, "you've made your move; I'll make mine" and walks out of the office. Greg calls after her, "is that a threat?"

MJ stomps from Greg's office to the elevator, in the most adorable drop waist pink dress. Ugh. And she is pissed.

At home, MJ makes a $5000 donation to Rainbow Push, then calls the organization and asks to speak to Jesse Jackson.

Awww, hell.

MJ shows up at SNC sometime later with a team of civil rights lawyers in tow. Greg tries to leverage press time to get the org to back down. They're flattered, but not budging. The leader of the group, not Jesse Jackson, asks for a specific date that MJ will be back on the air "or we'll be forced to take this issue public." Greg says that won't be necessary. The group asks that MJ return in 3-6 weeks. She clears her throat. She wanted to be back sooner. Greg says he will think it over.

In the hallway, MJ says to the leader of the org that he didn't press hard enough. He cautions her "this is a process, Ms. Paul." To the sound of a song with the chorus "Raise Hell", MJ says she's been nothing but patient.

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MJ leaves the building with the organizer in tow. There are cameras waiting for her, asking why Rainbow Push was present at SNC. Before hopping into a waiting SUV, MJ announces that she'll be back on the air on Monday.

Oh.

MJ is on the phone trying to reverse a charge, her donation to Rainbow Push. Lol. Mark points out that Rainbow Push is funded by corporations and until Black folk start funding organs such as Rainbow Push, their power will always be limited

That was A Word.

MJ realizes she may have gone too far with SNC. Um. You think?

Over at the family house, MJ's mama is in a fabulous wig and caftan, and having a coughing fit while she washes dishes. Niecy comes to assist but Mama being Mama insists she is fine. She don't sound fine.

Patrick pops by the house on his lunch break. He's working a new job, the one his dad hooked him up with. He's a distribution salesman for a beverage company. He seems enthused. Mom says she's proud. And she asks him about "my car" that she gave him. She can't even help being shady.

Niecy wanders back into the kitchen. Unmoved by her father's enthusiasm, she brushes him off. Patrick goes after her demanding some fatherly respect. Niecy hits him with, "you gotta earn respect to get respect."

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Patrick cautions her "don't think you're grown after one week of work, little girl." He adds that she's rude and ungrateful.

Welp.

Patrick storms out, and Niecy plops out the couch. There's a voice over of a woman promising that though she missed her flight, "I'm coming, I'm coming." Harpo? Who that woman?

Patrick's back at the job when his boss approaches him to say he's late, an hour behind. Boss says, "I don't care who your father is. If you want to work at KO Cola, you have to perform."

Welp.

Mama is on the phone with MJ giving her the exaggerated version of what went down with Niecy and Patrick. She lying, but she says, "hand to God" anyway. Oh, and after all that ish, Niecy asked for a ride to work. Lol. But that ain't what mama really wants to talk about. She heard via Nicey that the gossip shows say MJ is headed back to work. MJ says it's gonna happen. Her mom tells her she sounds ungrateful.

Sigh.

MJ has a call from work, and abruptly gets off the phone.

It's Kara, who is on speaker phone with Greg who is overheard MJ call him a "fat ass". Greg wants MJ on his office now. Kara, who we know from last week is stressed out, looks mortified.

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Greg plays the footage of MJ's parking lot interview where she said she's returning to work on Monday. He tells her that she walks around with a chip on her shoulder and doesn't recognize that he is her "greatest ally". He says he is "constantly advocating" for her. He adds that he is not a racist.

Word?

Greg has notes. Apparently, MJ is always late, sassy, borderline insubordinate and always strolls in right before she has to go on air.

Oh.

He tells he she's a pain in his ass... But she's also back on the air on Monday. Oh, and he kicks her out of his office.

MJ is unfazed. At home, she's on the phone with her hair stylist, thinking about going shorter for her return to air

Across town, the doorbell rings and Niecy sprints down the steps. Mom is at the door. Holy crap! It's Jill Scott!!

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Fast forward: Niecy's in the sitting room with Mom who brought her two purses. Niecy says she wishes her mom was around more. Mom says it's her work schedule. Niecy says she calls, but never gets a call back. Mom says she doesn't leave a message. Well. That escalated quickly. Mom says she'll work on it.

Mama wanders into the room. Here we go. She says Niecy's been keeping her up to date, and she's heard Niecy's mom "does hair for a stripper." Niecy corrects her, "Nicki Minaj!"

Oh.

Mama is being horrible, but apparently this is an improvement to Niecy's mom aka Jackie because at least Mama spoke.

Anyway, Jackie does hair and wants Niecy to get in the business. Niecy has skills, but is too lazy to put together a portfolio. Ugh. "You have to help me help you, honey", Mom says.

MESSAGE!!!

Niecy says she has a job.

Ma'am. You work PT making $7 an hour. Mama says she is talking about a lucrative career where she can support her kids.

MJ got a haircut. Eh... Not my favorite, but she's a pretty girl, so.... She's meeting up with Mark at some club where folks do lines of coke. MJ spots a cutie who she declares is in "great shape". Mark counters, "he's not in gay shape." Apparently, the gay standard is higher.

At the bar, MJ switches the subject to Cutty Buddy. She realizes he's been there for her and is nice. "Maybe I should stop looking for the right one, and consider the nice one," she muses. Mark says no, "let him be the scratch for the itch, but don't confuse that." He says MJ is settling and she should let the one find her.

They move to the couches.

"Does anal hurt?" MJ asks.

Mark wouldn't know. He's a top. "We're not all receivers". Lol.

On Monday, MJ is back at work. Her TelePromter goes dark midway thru her segment and she keeps rattling like everything is as it should be. Well done.

At the family home, Nicey and mom return from dinner, late. Patrick is at the house watching the kids and is annoyed Niecy didn't pick up when he called. Niecy tries to brush it off, but her mom admonishes her that she should never be late especially when people are trying to help her. "You're not a child anymore and this isn't cute," Mom says.

Welp.

I like Jill Scott on this role.

Niecy sulks off, leaving her parents in the room with each other. I get the feeling they haven't been around each other in a very long time. Mom suggests to Patrick that they grab dinner and catch up.

At the office, MJ gloats to Kara about how well she did on-air. She suggests they get drinks to celebrate. Kara declines. She actually did move back in with her ex and the kids and she's still unpacking.

MJ heads home and checks her social media. There's a heap of praise for her return and her new cut. And her fam says about the same. MJ crawls into bed and Greg's criticism plays on her head.

She shows up the next morning when the office is empty, then does her show. Kara congratulates her on another dope show after, and says she is kid-free and can hang out.

MJ is worried about her performance, and is second guessing herself. Kara ain't trying to hear that, she has the night off Mommy duty. She tells MJ to hit her with the deets of where they're hanging out.

Somewhere in Atlanta, Jackie and Patrick are in Patrick's place. Jackie says it's "fine", he just needs decorative touches. Jackie is wandering around the apartment and finds a ticket stub from when she and Patrick saw Prince. I know where this is going...

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But she has more to say: she wants Patrick to stop letting Nicey walk all over him. "You keep babying her," she says. "You're going to stunt her growth." Patrick fires back that Jackie needs to come around more.

There's a lot to unpack here. Jackie kinda apologizes for "snatching the girls up" and running off to California when Patrick got into drugs. Patrick points out that it worked because now she does Nicki's hair.

Jackie has a confession: she does, in fact, NOT do Nicki Minaj's hair. She does hair for the dancers. Jackie says she loves what she does, but she spends most of her time on planes and in uncomfortable seats. I've been on tour. Sounds right about right. And worse, Jackie thinks she messed the girls up. Oh, man.

Patrick comforts Jackie by kissing her. I called it!!! Now she's undressing him as she tells him, "brothers always thinking because they hit it once, they can hit it again." Patrick is proving this to be true.

MJ's is at the club, Kara ain't gonna make it. She's texting when a attractive white stranger comes by to keep her entertained. She tells him he's cute. She ain't lying. He says, "you're beautiful." They dance and make out at the club. Hold up. Is he finger popping her in the club? She seems way too open off a kiss.

Nicey's mom is heading out. She wants pics of the grandkids. Nicey wants more phone time. It's a sweet goodbye. Her parting words: you are the architect of your dreams.

Message!

MJ tells Mark that she kissed her first white boy. "I kinda feel like I let the ancestors down", she says. Oh, MJ.

Mark says he's proud.

Kara swings by with last night's numbers of MJ's show. They're in last place, which they always are, but they are "competitive with the key demos". MJ walk off in frustration.

Kara stops by the office to clarify: "it's a small drop" and they're "settling in". She reminds MJ that she fought and she won.

MJ takes a moment at the office to be happy. At home, she smokes a cigar in her pool and revels in her moment.

I like this MJ.

What did you think of Episode 5?? (And again, sorry for the delay.)

TV Recap Being Mary Jane 0304: Being Cara

Mary Jane is getting her freak on…. No, wait! It’s Kara getting her back blown out by her boo! As soon as she gets hers, she excuses herself from bed to go work.

Ma’am!?!

Kara heads to the couch with her laptop, her real man, and works ’til she passes out. Bay-be, what are you doing?

In the AM, Kara wakes up late—on the couch—and scrambles getting dressed, leaving her dude at the house to lock up after her. He reminds her that his bestie is in town and they have dinner plans that night. Watching a harried Kara, he offers to reschedule. She swears she can make it. Um… you sure?

Kara puts on her face in the car, and the bottle of prescription pills in her purse doesn’t go unnoticed.

I assumed Kara was late for work, but actually, there was a parent teacher conference that she missed. Her ex-husband is walking out of the school when Kara gets out of the car. “You couldn’t stall for me?” she asks. He reminds her that despite him sending a bunch of email reminders, she still showed up 20 minutes late. Womp.

Kara’s youngest isn’t so good at math and the teacher wants to have him tested for dyscalculia, dyslexia for numbers. Kara’s pissed. She isn’t trying to hear something is wrong with her kid, and she wonders how much testing is going to cost because she’s paying child support, the mortgage on the family house, rent on the condo she lives in and she helps her parents.

Whoo, chile. That’s a lot!

Kara has a bright idea: maybe the kids (and the dog) can stay with her for awhile so she can spend quality time with them, and help the babe with his homework since she is better at math.

Um… I love Kara. I do. But she told the God’s honest truth that time when she said she wasn’t fit to be a mom. She’s a good person. She is. But she doesn’t have the temperament for kids and all the other stuff she has going on. I respect that she’s trying to do better, but this is a bad idea.

Her ex points out that she always pulls this superwoman ish. “You missed a meeting, so what?” he says, trying to make her feel better (I think). This pushes Kara over the edge.

“It’s not fine for me anymore,” she says, dissolving into tears, then storming off. Oh, dear. She got a lot of guilt about not raising her kids.

Kara’s already had a long morning and she hasn’t even made it to the office. Finally at work, she’s still a mess, thinking she got off on the wrong floor. Before she gets to her desk, an assistant is updating her that MJ is on a warpath and she hits up her boo to pass on dinner because she has the kids.

Earlier, Mary Jane was back at her anchor desk as the producers tested out her face on screen. “All I see is scars,” the Big Boss says. I can’t see anything. She looks back to normal to me.

MJ catches Kara in the hallway, “greeting” her with “what the hell?” She’s mad Kara wasn’t there for her screen test. Kara reminds her that she had to be at her kid’s school. MJ is all, yeah, I know. Thought you would reschedule.

Um. Her kids > you.

Big Boss sidelined MJ for another week. Womp. MJ is freaking at, as usual.

MJ still doesn’t have a car, so a driver drops her off after work. Sorting through the mail she comes across a letter for Lisa. Aww, hell. Instead of opening it, she calls Cutty Buddy. He comes over in a hurry to offer Vitamin D.

Yes.

Kara wakes up to the dog licking her face. Before she’s fully coherent, her teenage son is in her room yelling about “there’s nothing to eat!” Then he tells her the kid “peed the bed... again!” Then the dog chews on Kara’s good shoe.

Kara has been up all of 90 seconds and all the sh—she’s been through has made me tired and stressed watching her. I need a nap. Kara’s hysterical, screaming at her oldest about the dog, who she threatens to get rid of. The youngest hears this and runs out of the room distraught.

Aww, Lawd. I hope she’s on pressure meds. ‘Cause this? #toomuch

When both kids leave, Kara reaches in her bedside drawer for her pills. Um… I’m glad she has some, just hope she doesn’t abuse them.

Across town, Cutty Buddy is trying to stop the 6:30 AM alarm from going off. I’m sorry. Did Kara just go through all that sh—before 6:30AM? iCan’t.

MJ rushes into the room for her phone. Oh, Cutty Buddy is spending the night now? MJ is dressed to “run an errand”, so CB offers to bounce to the gym. She asks him to stay instead. This man has beautiful eyes. No, really. All of him is lovely, but his eyes are amazing.

Kara made breakfast and is apologizing to the kids for flipping out that morning and reminding them that she “loves them more than anything in the whole world.” She tells the kids that their dad is going to pick them up from school and bring them back to the house.

The kids ain’t feeling that idea they want to stay at “Dad’s house”. Kara corrects them: “That isn’t his house, it’s my house. I gave him that hou—“ She feels herself winding up and stops. She tells the kids to do whatever they planned to do after school by her.

Oh, and the oldest kid called his dad on Kara and said it was “an emergency” because Kara was freaking out. The kids start rough housing why she’s on the phone and knock over the lamp. It’s chaos. Dad offers to help, but Kara insists she has it.

Do you?

CeCe is sitting on a park bench reading a book when a surly MJ walks up in her gym clothes to hand over 5k to CeCe.

“I hate what the Black man has done to the Black woman,” CeCe says. "Abandonment is the direct cause of our masculinity.”

It’s too early for this sh--. The direct cause of MJ’s “masculinity” this morning is being extorted by CeCe.

MJ: "Do you think about anything besides Black people and race?"

CeCe: "No."

Me: *cackles*

CeCe isn’t feeling MJ today, so she’s ready to head out, but not before offering condolences about Lisa. MJ ain’t here for that. “Shut up!” she tells CeCe. “You don’t have the right to talk about my friend’s life ever. This arrangement doesn’t afford you that luxury.”

Obviously and rightfully, she‘s sensitive about Lisa.

Kara’s headed into the office, texting her boo to apologize about missing dinner last night. She spots Marisol in a meeting with Big Boss telling him her big ideas. Kara asks for “a word.” In short: she tells Marisol she’s out of line for going behind her back and accuses her of sexing the boss on the low. Marisol’s big idea just cost them a feature segment for the next day’s show. No bueno. “I don’t like problems,” Kara reminds her.

MJ is at home in her glasses shoe shopping online when she decides to call Cutty Buddy. He’s in the pool with her providing what she needs when Niecy comes by and catches them. Awkward.

Niecy’s there to get help with her resume, but has no work experience. MJ adds an mailroom internship at her job to Nicey’s resume. Niecy doesn’t know what that entails, but says she’ll watch Chris Rock in Boomerang to figure it out.LOL

Niecy: "When I do all that, can I get one of those in my pool?" (She’s referring to Cutty Buddy.)

MJ: "You gotta get a pool first."

Me: *snort laugh*

Kara’s home from work and her ex is chilling on the couch. The youngest tried to wait up for her but fell asleep, the oldest is getting his first kiss on the porch. Kara’s day isn’t done. She has to make brownies for the baby’s class tomorrow.

Really? After a long day of work? Brownies? Ex is like, why didn’t you just buy something? But Kara is on her Martha Stewart Superwoman ish and tired of being judged by the mothers of the kids in her son’s class.

She’s trying so hard. I’m exhausted watching her. Watching this episode is birth control.

She pauses to grab wine with ex-hubs who tells her she’s a great mom. She knows he’s lying. She wants to talk about the kid wetting the bed and the dyscalculia. “I’m a problem solver, I fix things,” Kara says. John tells her to get off the roller coaster.

MJ is getting her freak on… again. Look. I ain’t mad at this lady. I don’t know if CB has any money, but he is definitely a provider. And I get the craving for sex, especially in these circumstances. Experiencing death can give folks a craving for life, or the act of creating it. I grieve the same way.

CB finishes too soon for MJ and he reminds her that she can’t be mad. “Woman, you got yours twice. Let me get mine.”

Welp. He has a point.

He says he has to get some sleep, but before that, he wants to know how she is being as she’s been going through a lot lately. MJ says she is “fine.” I guess we’ve moved on from the eulogy last week.

She offers to get him a towel to avoid the conversation. In the bathroom, she spots Lisa’s name on her BC pills and gets stuck for a moment.

Back at Kara’s, she’s having some manic moment, baking brownines and researching her son’s disability and texting her book all at once. Unsurprisingly, the brownies burn.

At MJ’s there’s a knock on the door. It’s Kara, asking her after midnight to make brownies for her cause she doesn’t want to send the boy to school with store bought brownies. She left the kids home alone. MJ reacts like that is horrid. Is it? The oldest kid is about 14, 15. He can be left alone with the little one… um, right?

She’s lost it.Through sobs, Kara says, “I’ve been A student my whole life, and I‘m just a C student in everything in my life right now and I hate it.”

Look, I haven’t birthed any babies, but I have had that feeling on so many occasions and it’s devastating. Ugh. I just want to hug Kara. I feel you, boo. I do.

“I feel like I screwed up my life,” Kara says. “I’ve failed.”

Mara, stop writing my life!!!

No lie, I teared up. I have been there.

MJ is in the kitchen making brownies when Cutty Buddy walks up to taste the mix. He's staying over regularly now? Oh.

Yes.

I don’t know how I feel about him yet. I like MJ around him. He mellows her out some and I like that he’s there because I don’t want her to be alone right now. But I would probably say that about anyone single and not David. I might even accept Shelton and his living across the street from each other fantasies at this point.

MJ shows up at Kara’s with fresh brownies. This is a nice side of MJ.

Niecy’s resume landed her an interview (yay!), which she showed up late for (boo!). Ugh! Come on, baby girl!!! Help yourself win!!! The interviewer is a little smug for my liking, but she’s not out of line.

Niecy doesn’t know the job interview rules so she doesn’t play by them. “Are you looking to hire me or not,” Niecy asks. “Because I feel like you judged me the moment I walked in here.”

Dammit Niecy. It’s what everyone has wanted to say at one job interview or another, but no one actually says that ish. Ughhh.

The interviewer admits that she’s not feeling Niecy because she was late. Niecy decides this is her cue to walk out of the interview. “I’m not late because I’m Black, it’s because I’m a mother,” Niecy says. “I hope you’ll still consider me for the job.”

Actually, I think she was late because she’s Niecy and she has a habit of being irresponsible. I’m just saying.

MJ is on her laptop at home, looking at pictures of CeCe. Did she hire a PI to investigate her? She discovers that CeCe owns a book store, so she swings by to see her.

“You extorted me for a book store?” MJ accuses. “And you think I’m part of a dying industry?”

MJ asks CeCe why she didn’t ask for even more money because she clearly needs it.

CeCe: "Because that’s all I asked God for. Any more would be stealing."

Really?

MJ says she’s done paying. CeCe reminds MJ that she still hasn’t got the one thing that she wants: prime time. She knows that they’re giving her the run around at work and that she has the power to make her dream go away with a phone call to SNC

MJ: “You are no better than the slave master raping and stealing from Black people for their own personal gain in the name of Jesus. You’re a fraud!”

CeCe corrects her: ” I’m a survivor. I do whatever it takes to survive. You and I are similar in that way.”

At SNC, Kara’s boo rolls up to see her while she’s working late. She bailed on him again, it seems. She breaks up with him at some point. He says things are great, but she says that she needs to be more present for her kids and her relationship with him is getting in the way, so it’s a wrap. She does him in the backset of the car one last time, then goes home to her ex husband and tells him that she wants to move back in with him for the sake of the kids and to save money.

“So you want to be roommates?” he asks.

He says that he’s willing to do what she thinks is best, but his gut says it’s a terrible idea. Kara agrees, but she wants to be a better mother.

At MJ's Cutty says his penis is “broke. Not broke, but raw. It hurts.” She offers to get him some ice.

Niecy calls MJ while MJ is headed to the kitchen. Miraculously, she got the job and she’s starting with 20 hours a week and $7.00 an hour. It’s a start and it’s better than nothing .

In the kitchen. MJ spots the letter from Lisa and finally opens it. It’s an invite to an event Lisa was supposed to speak at in 2016. To the tune of one of may favorite songs, “Good Goodbye” by Lianne La Havas, MJ loses it, sliding to the floor and sobbing.

Awww, boo.

CB comes into the kitchen and joins her on the floor, holding her. Geez. I’m so glad he’s there.

Later, he’s sitting on the deck when MJ walks out post-nap, apologizing for her break down. He says there’s no need. “It’s a blessing I could be here for you.”

That line made my yelp. Out loud. Hubs just turned around and glared at me.

CB has whiskey and Cuban cigars chilling on the patio table. He explains that he was raised by his grandfather, who worked in a mortuary. Granddad said the only way to balance out so much death was to live. He would smoke a cigar and have a glass of whiskey every night. “He was the most peaceful, happy man, I knew,” CB says.

I think I like him now.

What did you think of Episode 4?

Being Mary Jane, 0303: Ugly Truths (About Lisa)

 

Lisa is having a fancy dinner alone in her big house. She takes a shower, slips on a sexy negligee then heads to bed with a glass of wine. She's up to something. I don’t know what.

Aww, hell. She’s popping pills like they’re popcorn, then chases them all with gulps from her goblet of wine. She exhales like she’s been waiting. This is not what Terry McMillan meant.

I knew she was going to do this sh—after MJ read her for deserved filth last episode. I know Lisa pissed everyone off with that David nonsense, but like Patrick said when he brought Lisa to MJ’s house, “I didn’t want her to kill herself.”

Lisa’s wine glass slips from her hand, then she foams at the mouth, her body trying to expel the poison. She stops breathing.

Ya'll, Lisa’s gone.

At work the next day, MJ is explaining to her colleagueMark that “he” won’t stop calling? Is "he" David? Or "Shelton?" Or the married guy? Mark teaches her how to block a call.

Now it’s Nicey calling MJ, asking her to come over to the house. MJ can hear her Mom is crying in the background. Nicey says, “it’s Lisa…” MJ knows what that means. It’s a call she probably was expecting someday.

MJ stays at work instead of going to be with her family, even as Mark insists. She says she needs a drink, but her work-husband has taken the liquor out of her drawer.

MJ heads home-- her place, not her parents's house--  and gets into bed fully dressed, staring blankly as her mind whirs. She checks her phone and sees the missed calls from Lisa.

Later, Kara comes by the house. Someone filled her in about Lisa. She wasn’t close to Lisa but she’s an obvious emotional wreck over her death.

Just for clarity: MJ is too. There are many ways to handle death. The most popular one, and the one people most understand, is tears and being emotionally distraught. MJ’s isn’t that. She’s gone numb and into “efficient mode”. People don’t often “get” that person, but they're under appreciated and so necessary. While everyone else is falling out, someone has to hold it together.

Now half the friend circle is at the house, discussing how to mourn Lisa: celebrate or cry? Now they’re telling Lisa stories. Apparently, she got drunk once, threw out all her hot combs, ran off to Kenya and came back with horrible twists. Oh, and Kara thought Lisa was lesbian when she first met her, but not because of her hair. No one in the room knows what Lisa called her god, they all agree that she was “constantly searching for something.”

The conversation turns back to Lisa’s suicide and the myth that Black people don't kill themselves. "We took pride in the fact that no matter how hard things got, we didn’t do that,” says Nichelle. “I used to wear that like a badge of honor.... What happened to us?”

Kara adds, “people see suicide as a weakness, it's an illness”

God, this is such an important conversation. Thank you, Mara.

The topic turns to whether medicine is bad or not. MJ argues that she's not a fan of meds because some meds cause suicidal feelings. This would explain why MJ is not on the drugs she so obviously needs. Kara acknowledges that some drugs are bad, but not all meds. "Life is hard and sometimes people need a little help to cope," Kara says. Ma’am. That’s a word. If you need help, get yourself some PRESCRIBED help with haste. (No self-medicating.)

Nichelle drops that David found Lisa’s body. Awww, hell.

David swings by MJ’s house to talk about Lisa. Notice she doesn’t let him in the house. He offers to cover Lisa’s burial expenses, but MJ says it’s already been handled.

MJ wants to know what David was doing at Lisa’s house. He says he was checking on Lisa because he didn't answer her calls since MJ’s accident.

David offers, “if you need anything---“ and MJ cuts him off with “I won’t.”

Ugh.

Look. I don’t hate David, even after his betrayal. I’ve adopted PJ’s take on David, which is David probably means well, but he just can’t do right for anything. Feelings are nice, so is intention, but the bottomline is he keeps f---ing up. And for that, he needs to be kept, at minimum, at arm’s length. MJ's self preservation matters more than his feelings or intentions.

The following day, MJ goes to the family home, and overhears her mother saying, “We killed her”, speaking of Lisa. “We wouldn’t talk to her when she needed to talk.” Um, who was she talking to? There’s no one in the room when MJ comes in. Did she hear MJ coming down the hall?

MJ says ok, and turns to leave. "I don't have time to chose a pity party with you, Mom,” MJ says.  She came by to plan a funeral, not this.

Mom tells MJ that she’s called Lisa’s parents. MJ is livid. Lisa hadn’t spoken to her parents in “over 15 years”. “Every mother has the right to know” MJ’s mom says.

I can see her  point, but this makes no sense to MJ. They have their typical passive aggressive exchange, Mom plays martyr and MJ walks out, ignoring Niecy on the way to the door. She treats that girl so bad sometimes.

MJ heads to Lisa’s house. It’s weird in there, and really empty, and cold. I’m all for minimalism, but this doesn’t look lived in. Tells you a lot about Lisa’s life, huh? MJ wanders around and sees the haunting remnants of Lisa’s last meal.

The doorbell rings (twice). It’s Lisa’s mom and stepdad aka Richard Lawson aka Mama Knowles's new husband. MJ doesn’t look happy to see them.

Anyway, Mom and MJ end up in the bedroom discussing Lisa. They agree not to divulge the circumstances of Lisa’s death. Mom has been telling the family that Lisa died “due to health complications.” MJ says she will do a FB post, notifying folks so Lisa has a “good turnout.”

Mom asks MJ to speak at the funeral because MJ “knew her better than anyone” and was Lisa’s sister. As they’re discussing arrangements, Stepdad yells up, “Baby, it's time to go". Where is he going that’s so urgent that he can’t let his wife sit and discuss funeral arrangements for her dead child?

MJ says stepdad isn’t allowed to come to the service. That’s bold. Mom says, “not now” and that “We put all of that behind us.” Um, all of what, exactly?

Charles aka Mama Tina Knowles husband comes upstairs to rush his wife along and find out what the women are talking about, ie, him. Charles suggests they go as MJ has “issues and is being very rude.”

I have my issues with MJ, but one thing I love about her is that she doesn’t hold any cut cards and she ain’t never scared. It’s a gift and a curse.

She ain’t playing any games with Charles today: “I will not be at a service that this man is at,” she tells Lisa’s mother and by proxy, Charles as he’s standing there as she talks around him like he’s the kid in the room. MJ’s thrown down the gauntlet: it’s Charles or MJ. Can’t be both. She tells Lisa’s mom to let her know by 9PM how she’s gonna carry it. (For my Bmore folks: Wassup, wassup?)

Mom and Charles are in the car. She insists that MJ has to be at the funeral because “people will talk.” He hits back with, “you’re so weak like that. I can’t stand that in you.”

I’m sorry, WHAT?

So we know that Charles is emotionally abusive to the mother. Was he that way to Lisa too?

Charles says “Lisa was bipolar with an overactive imagination. She was not mentally stable and you know that.” Well, there is some truth in that. “She haunted us when she was alive and she’s haunting us from the grave.”

Damn, man. The girl just died and you’re talking to her mama. Some compassion, maybe?

Lisa’s mom tells Charles he can’t come to the funeral. Bottomline. He doesn’t seem to like the girl so much no way, so maybe that’s just for the best for everyone involved.

At the Paul home, the family is getting ready for Lisa’s funeral. Niecy is going D’Asia's hair. PJ is playing with Niecy’s son. Mom reaches for a box on a high shelf, and without being asked, Dad goes to get it down for her. I love that as dysfunctional as this family is, (just like every other family) they lean on each other and come together (like family is supposed to) when ish gets rough.

MJ is with the body at the church already. Lawd! Lisa is in the dang casket in all white, looking like an angel. Wow.

Um, MJ’s outfit and fascinator at this funeral are EVERYTHING!

David takes a seat next to MJ and listens, the first thing he’s done right in a long time. She tells him that she couldn’t cry, but she was trying on dresses and felt like she was having a mini-heart attack and then ended up crying for hours on the floor of her closet. Geez.

Here’s where he starts to go left: MJ’s not hysterically grieving, but she is grieving. David grabs her hand and intertwines his fingers with MJ’s before offering the lame cliché, “she’s in a better place now.” He catches himself, noting, “Who really knows if she’s in a better place?"

MJ: “Could it be much worse, really?”

MJ says she owes Lisa, who she had barely seen or talked to in a year, a good eulogy.

And then David goes all the way left: “It's not your fault,” he says to MJ. “You know that right?” Um.. why would it be MJ’s fault? I’m unclear.

MJ gets defensive, and lashes into David about screwing Lisa “out of her money and her dignity.”

Sidebar: MJ kills me when she mock-stutters to make a point about someone trying to sell her BS. I howled in the middle of this very important scene.

She ain’t done with David: “You pretend to comfort me but you really just came to comfort yourself. I'm not a comfort to give you, David. I am out of anything to give you. I have nothing for you.”

Ya’ll! Write that down and put it on the fridge door or keep it in your phone Notes so you can say it verbatim the next time your ex calls.

David leaves. Really, he never should have sat down. Just goooo, man. Where is your pregnant woman?

Nichelle sings “Eye Is On the Sparrow”, one of my favorite songs. She does a beautiful job. I really feel like I am at a Black funeral. This is a hard, hard episode.

Lawd, Lisa’s step- father had one job: not to come to the funeral. Why he want to be there so bad? He doesn’t like Lisa. And it’s not like he wants to be supportive of his wife, who he talks to like sh--. This is a power move.

MJs going off, trying to shame Charles for showing up, when the minister pipes in to remind her that they are in the Lord’s house and all are welcome. That was religious shade.

Despite Charles’s presence, MJ does eulogy, as promised. It’s a beautiful speech and beautifully delivered, especially the "We’re all just pretending we’re okay when we're really not…. The lies that we tell each other, that's what killed my friend Lisa."

Mid-speech, MJ is going over Lisa’s basics, where she was born and when she graduated, and such. She takes a moment and drops a nuke bomb on those gathered at the sanctuary that day: Lisa’s dad molested her from ages 9 to 16. “She carried that pain with her everyday for the duration of her life,” MJ says.

Lisa’s mom wails. Her stepdad looks embarrassed. Lisa’s brother looked like he just had a revelation.

I’ve read a bit of backlash about this episode, especially MJ’s big reveal. I’ve read it was “ill-timed” and motivated out of spite/control that Charles didn’t listen when she told him not to come, and dared to show up.

My take: the truth needed to come out. And there’s no convenient and polite time to talk about molestation/sexual abuse/rape, so it might as well be brought up and dealt with whenever the mood strikes.

I’m bothered that people get more stuck on the timing than the horror of abuse. If you’re uncomfortable with the topic and don’t want to talk about it, say that, turn the channel, keep scrolling, whatever. But don’t deflect to trivial topics like  “timing”, “tone” and attitude to distract other people from focusing on what makes you queasy.

MJ said what needed to be said, and yes, it was embarrassing and shocking, and scandalous, but sh--, all that pales in comparison to the pain Lisa must have been in when the abuse happened and all the pain she carried for so many years. Lisa matters more than embarrassment and shock and scandal. Lisa, and all the girls and women who have been through that horrific abuse, MATTER.

Mary Jane has some hard character traits to deal with, many I see in me, but I was never more proud of her than that moment.

Mom is inconsolable, lying on her son’s shoulder as MJ wraps it up. “The best way to celebrate her life is to stop being liars, is actually to embrace the truth… tell everyone that you love that you will love them no matter how ugly their truth is.”

Damn.

*slow clap for Mara and the writer’s room*

What did ya'll think of  Episode 4?

BMJ Returns!: TV Recap Epi 0302, "Louie Louie"

The Season 03 premiere of MJB was two episodes. Not two hours. 2 new episodes. I'm not complaining, but it's kinda weird, not just to make it one long 2 hour show. I'm gonna assume this has something to do with contracts and commercial ads?

Anyway, this is the recap of  the second episode, which aired on the same night as the first one.

Good news: Mary Jane should be ready to return to her job in about three weeks.

Bad news: The network hasn’t made a decision about whether they want to keep her. There was alcohol involved in the accident, cameras in the office have revealed that MJ keeps tequila in her desk and “she likes to knock back a few drinks before she leaves the office. The network wants to complete their in-house “investigation” before making a final decision about MJ. But they’re leaning toward “no.”

“If you want to fight hard for someone, you don’t pick a middle aged black woman with a drinking problem,” says the network counsel. “She’s not worth the risk.”

MJ is at home completely losing it. She hasn’t heard from her attorney and she’s mad SNC isn’t begging her to come back and taking it out on the dishes. She’s so mad that she knocks her iPhone into the dishwater. She spazzes, but there is no level of spazz that is inappropriate for an accident of this magnitude.

The doorbell rings. MJ has an unexpected guest. It’s Loretta Devine aka CeCe! Cece got MJ’s address from the personal check she wrote to her at the hospital. In exchange for a Celine purse to one of the nurses, she was able to obtain MJ’s lab results from the night of the accident. That combined with the check MJ wrote and the apology in the memo line, sound dangerously close to an admission of guilt and combined are enough for a likely win if there was a civil suit.

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MJ reminds CeCe, who describes herself as “a classy lady” and “a woman of moral fiber”, that CeCe signed a non-disclosure agreement with SNC. Cece points out that it protected the network not MJ personally. Sh--. And that she didn’t even realize the power she held in this situation until SNC made her an offer to go away.

Cece has decided that MJ is her "blessing". Does she mean second blessing? Because she just got 100k out of the network. Anyway, after CeCe describes the PR disaster that will happen in the lab results leak, MJ goes from balking at CeCe’s extortion to thinking about it. “I can help SNC or I can help you,” CeCe says. “I’d rather keep our dollar in the Black community.” No, no she didn’t go there with it like she’s down for The Cause.

MJ says she needs a day to think it over. Cece says she’ll be back the following day for her money.

Also, I would like to take back my comment in the 0301 review about Loretta Devine always being typecast. This is a whole ‘nother lane for her and she is SHINING!!! Mara is giving her the Viola Davis treatment, taking an immensely talented woman whose made a living for the last two decades out of lackluster material and finally giving her something to sink her teeth into. Devine, of course, rises to the occasion. I don’t like CeCe at all, like at all. (It’s a testament to the writing and the acting that I’m having a visceral reaction). But I LOVE watching her on screen and can’t wait to see what she’ll observe next. #hateCece #teamLorettaDevine

Another thought: I don’t much like MJ. She reminds me of a lot of my weaknesses and it makes me uncomfortable, and over-analytical, which is the point, I think. I still root for her though. That said, even though she’s being extorted, I like that she’s being held responsible for her actions. And again, while CC is wrong, MJ does bear some accountability for driving while almost intoxicated. Usually, anytime anyone tries to have a conversation with MJ about her real sh--, she deflects and weasels out of it. Cece isn’t letting her do that.

Over at the network, the ratings for MJ’s show have dipped. Her initial replacement, Ted, ain’t working out. Upper management charges Kara with coming up with a replacement, a Black woman who is “the next best thing” to Mary Jane.

Mary Jane’s lawyer calls her at home and relays his version of events from the meeting with SNC earlier that day. He spins it so she won’t freak out, which is already happening if her meltdown while washing dishes is any indication. He tells her that the longer she’s out, the more the audience will miss her and this can work in a favor.

Um, sure. MJ wants to believe it so she does.

She follows up with a question about being financially responsible for the accident and what would happen if her blood results got leaked. Her laywers says that without an admission of guilt—like say, a check with an apology in the memo—she’s fine. Why she doesn’t just tell him about CeCe is beyond me. I mean, he’s her lawyer.

“Mr. Gonzalez” of the National Council of La Raza has shown up to talk to MJ’s boss. Each year, they give the networks grades on their diversity, especially their inclusion of the Latino population. More of less, Mr. Gonzalez threatens to give SNC an “F” in diversity for their lack of coverage on Latino issues and on air Latino talent and because they have one Latino producer that they tout.

Big Bro Patrick is across town at basketball practice with his youngest daughter, D’Asia. Her mom shows up to watch and an excited D’Asia loses focus and goes over to her. The kid notices Mommy’s home monitor on her ankle. Lawd. The parents don’t explain.

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Mom tells Patrick that it’s going to be hard meeting her obligations to D’Asia because of the house arrest curfew and her lack of a car. Dad offers to pick her for D’Asia’s first game. As they watch D’Asia back at practice, Mom intertwines her pinky with Dad’s. Like holding hands, but not. The look on Patrick’s face says everything, which is he ain’t feeling it. But he also doesn’t move his hand. Is that compassion? Or mixed signals? Or both?

MJ is pacing through the house trying to figure out how to come up with the 25k for CeCe. She’s on the phone with her accountant who says he can get her 5k cash— not for shoes— the following day.  Kara calls to update MJ on her replacement at the network. Kara tells her the truth: Ted is out, ratings are down, and the network is flipping. SNC has demanded she find a new Black woman ASAP.

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Kara leaves out the part about the pretty, much younger Latina that’s being paraded through the office. She asks if MJ needs food. MJ asks for fried chicken and pancakes, red beans and rice, pizza, crawfish and 7Up cake. Apparently, MJ likes to eat when emotionally distressed or bored. I can relate.

When Kara shows up at the house, MJ says she’s insulted that the network thinks any Black chick can do what she does. She goes into a rant about not understanding why bad things are happening to her. She cut people out of her life who were bad for her and focused on her career. She says she was happy before the night the accident occurred.

Um.

That is some revisionist history if I ever heard it. No, boo. You were miserable before and you’re still miserable. MJ reminices on how good it felt to be “wanted and appreciated by SNC.”  She wanted the validation. “Everything I fought for and sacrificed for is evaporating,” she says. “I lost my best friend, I lost my man, I can not lose my job.”

Pause. This is more revisionist history. If MJ was the main character in Catcher and the Rye, she would be referred to as an “unreliable nararator”. She and Lisa were not besties. She could barely stand her. And David has a pregnant live-in boo. That was not MJ’s man. Not by a long shot.

And still, I appreciate the last part of her rant, the bit about her job. I would argue that despite what she said on the last episode about “putting all my eggs in one basket” when it comes to David, that it was actually her job she did that with. Things weren’t working out on other fronts, so she threw herself into work to get that feeling of accomplishment. And she became really good at it, because that’s what happens when you set something as a priority and work hard towards it. She’ll get over losing David soon enough. Her job though? That’s another story.

MJs plan is to telling Kara to hire an actual ugly black woman and break the prettier barrier on TV. Kara tells her she’s crazy. “It’s starts out as racist, and it ends as highly offensive.” Eventually, she gets on board though.

Across town, Patrick and his youngest child’s mother and his parents have shown up for D’Asia’s first basketball games. The passive aggressive shade between his Mom and the kid’s mom is killing me softly. After D’Asia scores two women come over to compliment Patrick on D’Asia’s on court skills. It’s not clear if they’re flirting or just making small talk, but Kid’s Mom feels a way. She tells the women that D’Asia gets her skills from her mother.

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Mom feels away about not being introduced so she’s claiming her territory. Um, what? She and Patrick aren’t back together. Why is she claiming him exactly?

Mom abruptly announces that she has to leave in order to make it home by curfew. Knowing that Mom being around means something to D’Asia, he offers to give Mom his car so that she can stay longer. Nice gesture, but mom has a suspended license. Womp, womp.

She’s still in her feelings about Patrick’s mom and the women who came by and that Patrick has the luxury of a car and that he can stay through the end of D’Asia’s game. She wants Patrick to know that he’s no better than her. “No matter how much money your family has, you’re still an addict,” she hurls at him.

Look, I’m all for a good read when one is deserved, but Patrick has done nothing to this lady. And didn’t he bail her out of jail?

When that doesn’t get a reaction, she reminds him of all she’s done for him. “I guess I smoked all that crack by myself,” she muses. “I blew people to support us.” Whoa!

I feel for the lady, I do. It’s got to be hard being separated from your kid, and your man’s mother shaming you, and watching next chick’s approach your ex in front of you and watch someone that lived the same life as you clean up easier because of the support system he has in place. But Mom doesn’t have any thing to stand on here. She’s dead wrong at coming for him… in the middle of her daughter’s basketball game…. that he happens to be coaching. She walks off, and Patrick’s face leaves us to surmise that what she said really got to him.

Kara’s back at MJ’s house to inform her that MJ’s idea about hiring an ugly Black woman has been shot down by the higher ups. Instead, they are hiring the new Latina that was being shown around the office. Kara shows MJ a picture. She’s a hottie, period. MJ is threatened, but won’t say so. Instead, she launches into a tirade, describing her fill-in as a dress that you buy and wear once and and take back to the store the next day. “She’s a return item”, MJ says. Um, no she ain’t.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s CeCe. To Cara, MJ plays her off as an iPhone repair woman with a “lick her license” (LOL).

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Cece’s there for her $25k, but MJ hits her with the facts, she got a “drug addict brother”, a sick mama, and is paying for her niece’s two kids. She ain’t got it. She can give CeCe $5k cash today and that will have to do. CeCe is on some mob ish and puts MJ on a payment plan. MJ will pay her in installments, $5K every two weeks until CC hits her “blessing” of $25k. (MJ doesn’t really agree or disagree, but in commercials for next week’s episode, viewers see her handing CeCe a large, folded stack of bills.) And hold up, how much is MJ making that she can give up ten stacks a month?

While they wait for the $5k to arrive, the women get into a conversation about the “push button generation”, ie, millenials. MJ sys that all these kids bring to the table is “exploitation and entitlement”. CeCe counters that slavery, racism, and a host of other factors beyond people’s control gets them to the point that MJ is complaining about. MJ counters that CeCe has no room to talk, as she’s exploiting MJ. “You’s a lazy ass Negro,” she tells CeCe. Um.. CC is, but she coulda slapped MJ in her own house for that and I would have been just fine with the storyline. But CeCe is unfazed. She’s on that “b---h betta have my money” bottomline.

While they’re talking, Primetime debuts with its fill-in anchor, Marisol. CeCe describes her as “fetching”, then points out to MJ, “she got you shook. There’s nothing worse than underestimating your opponent.” CeCe declares Marisol, “that face of the future.”

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This is why I love this character. She showed up to SNC looking unassuming, but she’s shrewd. And she might be extorting MJ, but she’s also helping her at the same time. MJ’s paying her to stay quiet about her lab results, but she should be paying her for advice.

When CeCe leaves, MJ does the worst possible thing: heads to social media to see Marisol’s reviews. They’re mostly positive. And as CeCe predicted, Marisol posted an Instagram picture of herself in MJ’s anchor chair with the caption, “a girl could get used to this.” Body blow.

Patrick stops by the family home just to pick up D’Asia, but the convo turns to his work hours and his unreliable schedule. After years of brushing off his father, he asks his dad to “make that call” for him to find him a steady job so he can be there for D’Asia. His father jumps up and hugs him, then is so emotional that he retires to his room.

Niecy, who only seen briefly this episode, is sitting on the couch witnessing this whole conversation and she isn’t feeling her father’s vulnerable moment.

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“How come you didn’t fight like this for me and Naimia?” she asks. “You were always gone—some party, some club, some woman… we could have used a perfect father too.”

Damn.  I feel for both of them. It’s been a good 15 years since she was D’Asia’s age and her father has matured as a man, just as he’s supposed to. I see that as an outsider. I also see why Nicey is validly upset. She sees her dad doing for another child with another woman what he didn’t do for her.

CeCe might have pissed MJ off, but it also gave MJ her battery back. At the house, she’s standing in the mirror practicing her intro for her show. Her face is healing nicely, but she still has a ways to go. And too, the focus has been on the physical trauma, but she’s got some new emotional scars as well. As she’s practicing, we see that she’s lost some of her confidence.

Fast forward: MJ has got her swagger, back. Either that, or she’s faking it until she makes it. She struts into her workplace in shades and a (glorious) pink dress to the soundtrack of PTAF’s “I’m a boss ass bitch”. MJ might not be ready to go on-air, but that’s only part of the job. She’ll do the behind the scenes work until her face is healed and she can get back in the game.

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She walks into a meeting and promptly bumps a naïve and gushing Marisol from the main chair (with a smile). I don’t even know if the poor thing (Marisol) realized what just happened to her.

What did you think of Season 3, Episode 2? 

Being Mary Jane Returns!: 0301- Facing Fears

Being Mary Jane picks up shortly after where we left her at the end of Season 2 in April. It’s the night of the accident, and she arrives at the hospital in an ambulance and the theme music is Alanis Morrisette's "Mary Jane", which was one of my favorite  songs when I was in like, tenth grade.  Mary Jane's condition is “conscious, but disoriented.”

MJ’s parents are there, of course. And so is Kara, her bestie and show producer, who is covering up the mirror so MJ won’t see her face.

Depending on which version of the Season 2 finale you watched—yes, there were two— you may know already what MJ’s face looks like. In one version of the finale, the show closes with the wheels of the car spinning and viewers overhear a man calling 911. In the extended version, viewers see Mary Jane stumble from her car, walk around aimlessly, then collapse in the street. Her face is already is swollen from the impact of the crash.

At the hospital in tonight's episode, as MJ’s being scanned for internal injuries, viewers get a glimpse of her face. It’s different from what we saw in the finale, but equally bad. There’s less swelling, but more gashes.

The good news tonight is that MJ is expected to make a “full recovery”.

The bad news is that Kara’s heard that MJ was at fault in the accident. Her blood alcohol level is .07. The legal limit is .08.

David and Lisa showed up to the hospital as well, likely called by the parents as they are considered “like family.” MJ is being wheeled down the hall when she spots David and tries to fight him from her wheelchair. He (and Lisa) were unsure how much of their conversation about their betrayal that MJ overheard on the phone. I guess they know now that she heard enough. Lisa runs down the hall to hide.

Dad sees MJ’s reaction to David and wants to know what’s going on. David tries to duck the answer with, “it’s complicated”. Um, you think? But Dad won’t let him off that easy. "Explain it to me so I can understand," he demands.  David starts talking about Lisa and his damn dead dog* again… Look, I like animals, and pets. I completely get the emotional attachment. But what you want do is talk about your sorrow over a pet to a man whose daughter is laid up in the emergency room. People > animals.

Dad confronts David about MJ's reaction to him.

Anyway, David says Lisa came by to console him about his pet, and MJ may have overheard their conversation, discussing,”some things about us.” Daddy ain’t no fool. He reads between the lines and incensed on his daughter’s behalf, he sucker punches David. I cheered, then rewound the DVR, and laughed. David deserved that sh--.

Kara is waiting for MJ in her hospital room. Her face is f---ed. Geez Louise. MJ sees the covered mirror and if she didn’t know how bad it was before, she does now. She demands Kara remove the paper from the mirror. Kara refuses, explaining that she should wait for the plastic surgeon to arrive and explain the injuries and what can be done about them “in context”.

“My face needs context?” MJ asks. Yeah, boo. Yeah, it does.

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Later, Kara gets a call from her ex-husband, who has custody of their children. He needs her to come right away. When she leaves, MJ checks her face in the mirror. Her face looks worse even than the last time we saw her.

Back at SNC, the network where MJ works, the bosses are trying to figure out what to do about MJ. She had liquor in her system, but was not drunk. The Big Boss isn’t really feeling MJ right now. “Your ugly Black woman is starting to make us all look bad”, she says to MJ’s immediate boss, the white guy.

In the cafeteria, Mom and Lisa sit across from each other. Lisa looks sooo pretty and her hair is laid.

Lisa aka The Worst Friend in TV History

Mom has questions, like WTF happened. Lisa explains that she wanted to tell MJ the truth and she wanted David to have her back. She leaves out the part about showing up with David’s favorite meal, a fresh blow out, and wearing a freak’ um dress.

Mom is not buying Lisa’s bullsh--. “So let me be clear,” she begins, using my favorite line. “You needed permission from David to be honest with Mary Jane?”  As Lisa starts explaining, she has more questions: “You couldn’t say no to one penis?”, “Did his penis enter any hole in your body?"

Lisa has no words. Mama bangs her hand on the table demanding that Lisa “say something!” but Lisa, silent and ashamed, is out of words. Disgusted, Mama gets up and walks off (in a fierce pink coat).

Welp.

The plastic surgeon stops by to evaluate MJ’s face. He’s “optimistic” about her face being fixed. When he’s gone, MJ asks Kara to level with her about the situation she’s in: “you need to call your lawyer”, Kara says.

MJ is feeling guilty and pays a visit to Loretta Devine aka “Cece”, who has been typecast in countless TV and film roles as the “mature Black mama figure” role. Admittedly, Devine is good at it. But the woman is criminally underutilized as an actress. In this part, she’s the other driver, laid up with a dislocated shoulder and no insurance.

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Fast forward: MJ’s going home. Someone, likely Kara, brought her a fierce hat to hide her face as she exits the hospital. MJ is giving Diana Ross in Mahogany fierce realness as she climbs in the awaiting SUV. She hands her attendant a letter to pass on to CC.

It’s a check for 5k, and a note that says, “I’m sorry.” Cece cries...  with gratitude? Ehh… I know MJ means well and it might even be the “right” thing to do, but I know this is going to come back to bite her in the ass. Read the not-even-fine print on the back of your insurance card. The first directive is to call “911”. The second is to not admit fault. An apology can count as “admitting fault” in a court of law. Oh, MJ.

MJ meets with her attorney to discuss the situation. He’s not sure where the network stands, but has a meeting in the works. He notes that they brought up her alcohol level, so it could be tricky. MJ says it’s because “they want to get rid of me.”

Because attorneys are widely known for having the worst sense of humor ever and limited social skills, he jokes that she’s officially “an ugly black woman”, a joke harkening back to the catchphrase that made MJ famous. Um… that ain’t funny, my dude. MJ spontaneously either burps or upchucks, a result of her medication that gives her “sour stomach”. The attorney “jokes” that she is “ugly on the inside” too, and bounces because of the smell. I laughed, not because he’s so funny, but because he’s soooo socially awkward.

MJ is laid up in bed at home as her mother keeps her company. I can tell you now, this doesn’t end well.

The make up person is working overtime for this episode. MJ looks worse. I know the swelling and bruising are part of the healing process, but…. damn, boo.

Mom starts off well. “I hate to see you go through this,” she says.

MJ tells her “it’s a minor setback.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

Mom was talking about David. Um, now? This is the conversation she wants to have today? Mom says she always thought MJ and David would work things out. “I was so busy trying to make you his wife, I couldn’t see how much I was hurting you. All I could see was how pretty you would be on your wedding day…. I’m sorry.”

Wow. I didn’t expect that. This is an important convo (and quite cathartic as it’s something I wish my mother had said to me about an obviously unrelated topic).

Mom continues, offering unsolicited and well-meaning advice about how to move on. MJ isn’t in the place to receive it. “You make it sound like I’m in a slave narrative,” MJ says.

This is a very important conversation and everything Mom said needed to be said, but it’s all bad timing, as MJ points out. “I just wrecked my face.”

Mom gets upset at MJ for being upset with her. She turns herself into a victim and wanders out the room, then outside. This is a mother thing, right? My mom does this too. She’s attempting to come back in MJ’s room, walks right into the glass wall and knocks herself down. Oh, dear. Mom is shaken up, but fine. Dad shows up to pick up Mom. MJ will note later that is the kind of love she wants. “Dad was there within 30 minutes. He didn’t look for his daughter. He needed to put his eyes on her. I want that…. I want to be told that I am beautiful and cannot be lived without.”

Oh, Lisa calls. Unsurprisingly, MJ doesn’t answer.

MJ’s housekeeper is also leaving, and thus, MJ will be alone. She says she will “enjoy the quiet.” Everything we know about MJ means that’s a lie.

At SNC, the team, including the lawyers, have pulled in CeCe to offer a settlement. This is another move that I know won’t go well. Lawyers can be quite helpful, but their emotionless approach is where a lot of negotiations that could have otherwise gone fairly well fall apart. There’s a tendency to treat people like problems that need to be solved instead of, well, people.

The Loretta Devine as "Cece".

CeCe’s insulted by the offer. She has no insurance, medical bills adding up, out of pain meds, and her Cadillac is totaled. She asks for double their offer, $90k. I can’t be mad of her.

The lawyers balk, cry broke, and point out that CeCe was also found to be at fault in the accident. They’re trying to strong arm her. It’s like they can’t help themselves. Sheesh. CeCe won’t be deterred. In fact, their treatment puts a battery in her back.

“You don’t like me anymore than you like MJ, but you tolerate her because she’s good for business," CeCe says.

Welp. That is true.

She hits the room with some cold, hard facts about their company, showing them that she understands their position and her own. Big Boss peeps her game and offers an extra $10k from her personal money, which ups CeCe’s takeaway to $100k. She signs the confidentiality agreement and takes her check.

MJ is in bed scrolling through her many text messages. Andre, her married ex, texts to check on her and she lies twice and says she’s good. Sheldon aka “Shazah” hits her to say, “let me now if you need me.” It strikes me as weird phrasing. Nothing you can take action about, but it’s like, not offering help, not asking if help is needed, it’s like, “hey injured person, let me put this one extra thing you have to do in your lap while you’re trying to recover.” It’s putting the onus on her to ask for help, and then he’ll do something. But in the meantime, nothing.

MJ responds from her empty house where she keeps a bat nearby for protection, saying she has lots of people fawning over her and she’s fine. Oh, MJ. She’s used to being the “helper”, not the “helped”, so she doesn’t want to ask for any. That or, she knows that allowing Andre or Sheldon back in her life isn’t healthy for her. If that’s the motivation, I applaud her for brushing him off. That would be progress.

Someone’s at the door. MJ hoped it was David, but it’s  PJ, instead. The pair settle on the bed for a sibling chat.

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PJ’s obviously been talking to his parents who’ve filled him a bit in on David. He asks his sister, “what is it about him?”, meaning David.

MJ: “I believed him when he told me he ‘I love you’.”

Damn. Gut punch. I’ve been there too, Baby Girl.

The other reason? She’d invested in him, but it was “too hard to start over.”

Done that too.

PJ has shown up tonight with a sermon for MJ. I won’t quote the whole thing, but the highlights:

On David: “Men like David don’t know how to show up… that’s the type of guy that’s been coddled his whole life. That’s a bitch made man… the brothers with the silver spoons? Those are the worst… when everything comes easy to a man  the last thing he’s cut out to do is fight for a difficult woman.”

*hmmm*. This requires more thought. Mostly because I’m wondering what the ideal guy is then. Are women better off seeking men who struggled, or had to “work hard for it?” Cause I dated those types to and that’s another set of issues.

On men: “Ya’ll are letting [men] run on ya’ll. Stop. Stay “no” to us.

*Waves church fan*

On women: “You deserve more than the words I love you.”

*shouts “Amen!”

The doorbell is ringing, but MJ and PJ don’t hear it. Now there’s banging. This better be an emergency.

It’s Big Brother Patrick. Lisa wants to talk to MJ, and had been by MJ’s Mama’s house worrying her about MJ being mad at Lisa. This is an emergency?

Patrick explains, that what Lisa did was “messed up, but I don’t want the girl to kill herself. Just hear what she has to say and be done with her.”

Lisa got a lot of damn nerve. A LOT. Your childhood friend is laid up in the house, off work with a f---ed up face recovering from a major accident that you are partially to blame for. And while said friend is trying to recover, you make it all about YOU? GTFOH.

MJ walks to the car and despite PJ trying to stop her, takes her ever-handy bat with her. MJ goes first, and apologizes. “I’m sorry,” she says. Wha…?

But MJ is like her mama. You think she’s saying one thing, but she’s setting you up for another. She eviscerates Lisa, apologizing to her for all of her many shortcomings. On the list: the guys who don’t return your calls, and never noticed you, and all the times you weren’t invited to the party, that I allowed you to be the third wheel to me and David’s relationship, that you couldn’t find a man to love you, and my life is somehow an insult to yours.

MJ ain’t done: “Would we really be friends if we met today? We haven’t been ture friends in years. This is like an obligation."

Not even joking: Lisa should not go home alone tonight. Call her therapist and/or drive her to a hospital and institutionalize her for a few days. Lisa is fragile on a good day. Like Patrick, I acknowledge that she messed up, but I don’t want her to die either.

Or not. MJ says all that, and Lisa just wants to know from MJ, “what did you hear? I’m ready to tell you all about us.”

Ma’am! This is about YOUR guilt, not being honest.

MJ ain’t trying to hear her. She tells Lisa she loves her despite being betrayed by her, and that she needs time. “I’ve earned the luxury of thinking about me for once,” she says. “Can I get a little space to deal with the fact that I’ve been betrayed and I almost died?”

She adds, “I hope you find what you need, but I promise you it is not here at my house.” MJ walks off.

Lisa yells after her, “I love you.

Girl, bye.

What did you think of the Season 3, Episode 1 of Being Mary Jane?

NOTE: Episode 2 will be recapped tomorrow. Yes, I've watched it.  :-) Also,  the full version of Episode 1 is on BET. Click HERE. 

The 9 Most Jaw-dropping Moments in the 'Being Mary Jane' Finale

It’s taken me this much time to process the season finale of ‘Being Mary Jane’. I was all riled up watching. Like I was yelling at the screen. Then after, I was mumbling and shaking my head like I was Halle Berry in Queen. You know, the one where she ends up in the asylum?

CBW, my husband, woke up and saw me sitting on the floor in front of the couch. I dived off dramatically after—you know, the thing that happens at the very end. He goes, “Um, what happened?” And I tried to explain in detail before giving up and saying, “It was many things. So many things. All at once.”

In the light of day and in no particular order of importance, I will now attempt to discuss nine of those “many things” in a coherent way. Oh, and *SPOLIER ALERT*

Sheldon aka Mr. All That Glitters is NOT Gold

1. Sheldon’s an ass, but so is MJ.

Sheldon goes overboard to impress MJ and be romantic— saffron, wine, candlelight under the stars, slow jams, French films and MJ just sons the f*ck out of him, just because? Like I was staring at the TV like, “WTF is wrong with this chick?” She’s been complaining about men for two seasons and finally a man pulls out all the stops and it’s still a problem? Sheldon wasn’t perfect, no. The night wasn’t perfect, no. But it wasn’t all bad and he was trying. He played the music loud. He had French films. But he didn’t call her by another woman’s name or curse her mom.

And when she saw him getting defensive and agitated, she STILL DIDN”T STOP. Ugh.

2. Sheldon’s an ass (it’s worth saying twice). 

How you gonna make your girlfriend get a new toothbrush every night? You don’t want it sitting out? Fine. Put a lil’ cap on it and put it in the drawer. But why Sheldon got so many spare toothbrushes? Like how many folks you got staying over in your room, bruh? That bin of toothbrushes in the master bathroom was a red flag.

But that’s not Sheldon’s worst offense by far. He’s entitled to see the world however he wants and have whatever lifestyle he enjoys. However, he knows that shit is off beat and irregular. That I never want to marry, nor have children, or live together, but we can have two condos on the same floor or a compound… is much and next. You’re supposed to tell someone about your revolutionary way of seeing the world before you declare you’re in a relationship to give them a choice. It’s a simple, “Hey, I know there’s the traditional way, and here’s my way. What do you think about that?”

And yes, MJ should have asked him for clarity. “You’re down with babies and marriage and all that, right? Just checking.”  These are two grown people with horrible communication skills. But the bigger onus was on Sheldon to speak up, and I hollered when it all came out and MJ told him, “Ain’t nobody got time for no fundamental shifts.”

But still, still, that’s not what makes Sheldon a gigantic ass. It’s when after he mislead MJ, and after he told her about his personal utopia that he knew she wasn’t down for, he added, “Given your history with men, that’s probably the best offer you’ve got.”

There are levels to assy. That is the highest one. And for the record, he’s wrong: being alone is a better option than settling.

3. Home Invasion.

So, I get it. There’s a bump in the night and no one there to go investigate or the alarm goes off and you realize how alone you are is terrifying. I get why MJ called Sheldon. I get why he let her come back over after she had been an ass. I don’t get why she just defacto moved herself in, especially when the man is making it obvious he didn’t want her there. I mean, the man is throwing your toothbrush out every night.

And then, like, he didn’t give the code to the gate, because he didn’t want her to have the code to the gate and/or he wanted her to do like Big Boi said and call before she came and not “just pop up over out the blue”. But not only did she violate by barging up in his house like she pays bills there, she kicks off her shoes in the middle of floor, flings her bags all up on her counter, goes in the fridge like she bought groceries, then calls his place “home” while she’s on the phone with her girl.

Ma’am. If you don’t take your messy, no-home-training-having self home.

"Baking soda. I got backing soda!"

4. Wetting the Bed. 

See me? I wouldn’t spend the night out as a bed wetter. And I wouldn’t let anybody stay over either. The Cutty Buddy, hit-and-run situation? That works for these circumstances.

And I would think that if you were the type to stay out and risk urinating in some other person’s bed, you must be very comfortable with them. And because you are very comfortable, you might say to the person you’re spending the night with, “Hey, I pee the bed. I’m stressed. I just wanted to let you know why I have on these here Depends, so nothing to worry about.”

Note: Depends. I would think that if you have nighttime problems with your bladder, you would wear Depends or some sort or protective garment if you are sleeping and especially if you decided (against better judgment) you will be sleeping elsewhere. This is responsible and sensible. Invading a man’s house and peeing in his bed—even on accident—especially when you’ve never had a conversation about it, is just crazy.

8. Lisa Ain’t Shit.

I ain’t never liked Lisa. She’s jealous and whiny and as we found out on Tuesday night, scandalous. Let me get this straight: the childhood best friend who is close enough to be invited to family dinners even when MJ beefing with her did the following:

a. Had sex—she’s right, oral counts—with MJ’s man, multiple times, and also told MJ about it, just not who it was with.

b. Loaned MJ’s ex $50k

c. Took MJ’s ex in after MJ kicked him out.

d. Took care of MJ’s ex while he was sick.

e. Looked after MJ’s ex’s dog while he traveled.

f. Is currently in MJ’s ex’s kitchen, pushing up on the low, low (ya’ll see that hair and her booty in that dress?)

g. Is in love with MJ’s ex who MJ is also in love with.

I know David and Lisa knew each other before he met MJ. But there are rules, and apparently Lisa looked at the list of them and said, “eff it!” This might be the grimest, shadiest chick in the history of TV. She didn’t just screw up, she did it over and over and over and over. So much for friendship.

Read the complete list a Jawkbreaker.NYC

Meet 'Being Mary Jane's "Cutty Buddy", Thomas Q. Jones

The closing scenes of last Tuesday night’s Being Mary Jane threw us all for a loop. After shooing away her ex, Mary Jane returned home and seemed to be in for the night. Suddenly she was getting dressed and heading back out to see a man we were introduced to only as “Cutty Buddy,” her friend with benefits who had more to give.

Well, her “friend” has an actual name. It’s Brandon in the TV series, and in real life he goes by Thomas Q. Jones. The now-retired NFL player has taken his talents from the football field to the small and big screens. (That explains that body, right?)

The Root caught up with the athlete-turned-actor to find out about his transition to Hollywood (difficult), if we’ll see more of him on Being Mary Jane (maybe) and where we can see him next (Straight Outta Compton, in theaters Aug. 14).

The Root: I shared with my friends that I was interviewing you. All the women responded, “Cutty Buddy!” and the guys were like, “Hold up? The football player?!” Why and how did you make the decision to go from being an athlete to an actor?

Thomas Q. Jones: When I [left] football, I was in this dead space. My whole life had been football since I was 5 or 6 years old. I didn’t have anything that I loved to do anymore, and it was a tough time for me. I’ve never been a drinker, but I was up at 8, 9 a.m. drinking Corona. I found acting as a way to detox from football. Football and acting are a lot alike. There’s a lot of raw emotion you release on Sunday as a football player. I put all of that into whatever character I’m playing.

TR: I was live-tweeting Being Mary Jane the other night when you appeared. That scene almost broke the Internet, and “Cutty Buddy” began trending. What has the response been like since the show?

TQJ: It’s been really cool. It’s always good to get a positive response. It’s a great show, one of the best on TV. Great cast, great writing. Gabrielle Union is amazing as Mary Jane. The audience is rooting for her to win, and maybe my character will be a part of that.

Read more on The Root

Ask Demetria: Do Scandal & Being Mary Jane Condone Adultery? (Sigh...)

“Do you think shows like Scandal and Being Mary Jane are condoning adultery or man-sharing to black women? It’s strange that the only two noticeable scripted shows about black women show them as ‘the other woman.’ I see so many women rooting for them. Is adultery ‘in style’ now?” —Anonymous

There have always been, and always will be, adulterous relationships—on TV and in real life. Adultery has also always been a staple of any dramatic series because of the messiness that is a natural byproduct of toying with emotions and betraying bonds. There is no recent study that points to a rise in adultery in the real world, especially not as attributed to these two TV shows.

That said, I’ve never understood the long-standing “Scandal condones adultery” argument, and I don’t understand the more recent assertion that Being Mary Jane does, too. I watch (and live-tweet) both shows, and I’ve never seen more miserable women. If anything, Being Mary Janeand Scandal show the downside of being the other woman.

Scandal’s Olivia Pope is emotionally tortured by her involvement with a powerful and married man. She gets stolen moments with him and some backroom romps. She’s constantly having to keep up appearances by downplaying or hiding her relationship, and as much as her lover insists that she’s his No. 1, Olivia “plays her position” as second fiddle whenever his wife is around.

Olivia is a powerful presence in every other occasion, but she is ashamed and embarrassed in the presence of her lover’s wife. She also operates almost entirely on her lover’s schedule and whims. Sometimes he’s into her; sometimes he’s discarding her. At the start of the third season, the affair was made public, and she nearly lost her business when all of her clients bailed and most of her money was spent. Nothing about her adultery seems glamorous.

In the case of Mary Jane, the ramifications of adultery look even worse. She’s confronted by her lover’s wife at her job and asked humiliating questions about her sexual practices with the wife’s husband. While she experiences emotional highs when she’s with him, when she’s without him—which is most of the time—she’s self-loathing.

In the most recent episodes of the show, her brother, who knows of her affair, goads their long-married mother into discussing adultery. Mary Jane squirms as her mother unknowingly describes her daughter as vile and incapable of “cultivating a man.” As the episode closes, Mary Jane is home alone and manically texting her lover, who doesn’t answer because he’s having sex with his wife. The next morning, he still hasn’t bothered to respond.

What’s so glamorous about that?

Read more: here