My mother walks into #SeesomeDC last night and doesn't recognize me. Like sees me, goes to the bartender and asks, "hey have you seen XYZ?"
Him: "nope."
Now mind you. It's 50 women sitting in a semi circle. I am sitting in the middle of said semi circle.
My mother walks downstairs, they tell her "Demetria's upstairs". So she comes upstairs, sits in the semi-circle of all black women, waiting for me to arrive... 90m after the event started.
She never recognizes me. She HEARS me, looks around and spots a person with my voice. This is how she IDs her daughter of 37 years.
Me: You really didn't recognize me?
Mom: You're like five shades darker than normal. You're actually brown now.
Me: I have the same hair from Colombia.
Mom: You had locs last I saw you.
Me: You saw pictures from Colombia. Same hair.
Mom: I saw you in the mud.
Me: You didn't see my hair?
Mom: You had a shower cap on... in public.
Me: I didn't want mud in my hair.
Mom: I can't believe you wore a shower cap in public, Demetria.
Me: I was in a pool of mud.
Mom: I can't believe you got in a pool of mud either. And made Greg go.
Me: I didn't make him.
Mom: That wasn't my son in law's idea.
Me: That's not the point. You saw my hair.
Mom: I saw your shower cap.
Me: You really didn't recognize me?
Mom: No. I didn't.
Me: I'm that brown?
Mom: Yeah. You also lost weight since I last saw you.
Me: I can actually see it now. It's in my face.
Mom: Yeah. But you can't see it in that dress.
Me: what's that mean?
Mom: 🙁
Me: Good night, Mother.
Mom: Good night.