New discovery: my father reads my blog.
Next topic.
I love my job! Love, love, love it! I was out sick yesterday (that’s what I get for running around all day Saturday in good weather without a jacket) and I loathed every minute of what I could be missing. Got so bad that I started e-mailing co-workers about a bunch of ideas that I’ve had but never got around to pitching.
The only thing I hate about my 10-6 is that I get all these interesting relationship tidbits from the sexperts that I talk to all day and I can’t write about them on here until the article’s come out—and by then, my mind’s moved to something else. *sigh*
Anyway, when I wasn’t drugging myself into oblivion, I managed a coherent conversation with Patent about booty call hours. Like when does booty call time begin?
I argue for 11. Any invite to my apartment or arrival at such after that time and I think it’s reasonable for a suitor (or J.O.) to expect something to pop off. Not saying that it will or that it should, but I can’t really call a man out of line for trying to push up after that time. (11 was the time after which I could take phone calls as a teenager. I think that’s how I decided on this.)
Patent argued for somewhere around 10, which I thought was a little early. I feel like I can call at 10, realize I’m not doing anything and you’re not doing anything so maybe we can do something non-sexual together at the crib without any expectations of breaking out the condoms.
Far and long ago in a conversation with my mother, she advised against inviting men over without expecting a pop off at anytime--day or night. “You want to spend time together?” Mom began. “If you don’t want him to think anything will happen, you spend it outside of the house.” (She’s a strong advocate of not sending mixed signals, an idea which has been instilled in me.)
I thought this was too conservative, and just what I expected to hear from Mother, who is by and large a conservative woman. That is—until I bounced the thought off an infrequent member of the crew who I’ve known forever, but grinds too much to hang out. “You can invite a man over at 3 o’clock on a Sunday," he said. "Sex is an option at any time of day, D. You don’t want him to think it will happen, stay outdoors.”
With that in mind, I decided on a compromise. If it was after 9 (just in case), and I’d invited company by (very short list of men that I allow in my home. Very long list of criterion to get over the threshold) that I wasn’t intending to be intimate with, I gave a short speech. “Just so you know, we’re not having sex. I just want to hang out.” There, it was said. Open communication. All cards on the table.
That short speech managed to ungodly offend every man to whom I said it. I got everything from bellows :“Did I ask you for sex? Who said anything about sex? You’re the one that’s mentioning sex!” To dead silence, followed by a baffled: “Are you fucking kidding me, D? That’s the dude you think I am?”
I stopped giving that speech, realizing the negative effect it was having and I realized that the average grown man just goes with whatever signals he gets during his stay—- no matter what time the call comes through or what time he arrives. It’s been my experience that as long as I’m chilling, he is too. And when I'm in the mood for more?... Well, Daddy's reading so I'll just leave it at that.
Hi Dad!